The nightmare before Christmas....Part One

John and I just took an epic journey to Haiti to pick up the boys.

(Prologue: December was very busy for me. I worked Dec 4th, 5th and 6th nights and then left Dec. 7th for a week orientation at Frontier school of midwifery. Then, came home on the 11th, worked that night, the 12th and the 13th. I was pretty much comatosed the 14th, felt jet lagged on the 15th, our anniversary was the 16th, and on Thursday the 17th, we got the email that the boys were scheduled for visa appointments on the 22nd. Visas are issued on the next business day. Usually, people don't go down to pick up their kids until they have visas in hand. But, I had to work the night of the 23rd and 24th, and we wanted to be home for Christmas. SO, after much debate, John and I decided to fly down on the 22nd, spend the night, go to the embassy to get visas on the 23rd and then fly out the night of the 23rd. Spend the night in Miami and then be home on Christmas Eve by about 1:oo. Then, I would work that night. Amy Wheeler agreed to work the 23rd for me (THANK YOU!!). So, I had 6 days notice, and I worked 38 of those hours, slept a little and packed and cleaned and did Christmas shopping. Violet went to spend the night at my Mom's for about the 4th time in Dec.

Tues: Dec. 22nd- John and I woke up at 3:15 AM to get to the airport by 4AM. We flew from Lex. to Dallas to Miami to Haiti. Our flight to Haiti was delayed about an hour and a half. Right as I got on the plane, I saw that I had a message from Stephanie (our adoption agency rep.). I was trying to listen to it on the plane with bad reception and the pilot announcing that we needed to fasten seat belts, etc. So, all I heard was, "This is Stephanie, something something....SNAFU at the embassy....something....not sure if you can check messages.....something......" Despite warnings to turn of all electronic devices, I listend to the message again. Still, all I heard was "SNAFU with the embassy." So, for the next 2 1/2 hours, I was very worried. A million "worst-case" scenarios ran through my head. It made for a worrisome flight. Everything in Haiti is pretty much the true military definition of "SNAFU: Situation Normal All F*&^% Up" It's actually a perfect description.
Finally we landed in Haiti. Our plan was to find Big. He's the biggest guy in Haiti, hence the name "Big." He stands outside the airport and gets you where you need to go. We were going to find Big and have him call Veniel (the owner of Wall's guest house where we made reservations. We love it there. It is right across the "street" from the orhanage.") However, we couldn't find Big and John Gary was there to pick us up. How John Gary knew to pick us up is still a mystery. Our adoption agency person had told us to hire him as a driver. But, since were were staying across the street, we didn't think it was necessary. At any rate, John Gary was there at the airport. We said, "We are staying at Wall's."
Gary said, "You can't stay at Wall's. Marie doesn't let "her kids" stay there. OK.....? (I had heard last year that there was some falling out between Marie and Veniel. I didn't think it would be a problem a year later. Plus, I didn't think she could say anything about it since they aren't really "her kids" anymore.) But, nonetheless, we didn't want to tick off Marie. Getting visas for our boys was completely in her hands.
So, we said, "Where should we stay?" Gary told us about 2 different places. We didn't really care which one, so he told us to stay at the Habitation Hatt.
We got to Marie's house, the office of Petite Angels de Chantal, and where some of the children stay. Our boys had been here, at her house, in Port-au-Prince for days so they could go to the embassy to get visas and to get medical appointments. Marie came to greet us on her porch and again re-iterated that we could not stay at Wall's. (Let me interject here that Marie can speak English, but it is slightly broken. You are never quite sure if you understood what she just told you and you are never quite sure that she understood you. I must also say her English is a million times more than my Creole capabilities.She is also large in stature, taller than I, maybe 5'11" and a very no-nonsense kind of woman.) I continue...We didn't ask questions. Then, she proceeded to tell us that they went for their visa appointments today and got the "yellow ticket." (The coveted ticket you get to present to the embassy to get your visa.) Marie said, "The embassy will be closed tomorrow for a Christmas party, so we will go get their visas on the morning of the 24th," Marie said

"But our plane leaves tomorrow night at 5:30," we said in dismay.
"Oh, I wish I had known because I could have gone back to the embassy this afternoon to get their visas. It is better for you to go home with Megan and Tom on the 24th, " Marie said, very non-chalantly. (Megan and Tom are 2 other adoptive parents who were also coming to pick up their kids.)
"We thought they were open on the 23rd. We thought they were only closed for Christmas," we said.
" When I went today, they said they are closed tomorrow for a Christmas party, " Marie said.
"I need to be home by the 24th to work that night. I am a nurse...enfymie," I tried to explain in vain.
"It is no problem. You can call American Airlines and change your flight." Marie suggested. Both Gary and Marie agreed that the Habitation Hatt would have internet and that Gary could get us international calling cards. We found out the hard way on our first trip that even a quick 4 min call to the States costs AN INCREDIBLE AMOUNT.

You have got to be kidding me!!! John and I just looked at each other wide eyed and shell shocked. What were we to do? There was nothing we could do. We were stuck, in Haiti. I could fly home by myself the following day, or I could stay with him, but risk losing my job because of no-call, no-show on CHRISTMAS EVE!!! I was a mess inside, but, I just sat there calmly.
Marie went to go get the boys and bring them out to us. They walked besider her holding her hands. They were adorable...and TINY!!! Erickson smiled a little and Lovekender was very stoic. We held them and loved them. They were about the same size as they were last year.
Before Gary took us to the Habitat Hatt, John said he wanted to walk over to Vinele's and tell him we wouldn't be staying there tonight. Marie and Gary said, "No, you can just call him from the hotel." So we left.
After a very bumpy ride, we arrived at Habitation Hatt. (The roads in Haiti are comprable to creek beds. Drivers just zig zag back and forth to stay out of water and trenches. It's pretty much just dirt and gravel, trash and water.)
At the front desk, John learned that our "hotel" was $106 a night. (Much more than Wall's.) In addition, we would now have to have Gary drive us. Which, turned out to be $60 + $80 + $60 for the three days. WOW!!! Not to mention, we would now not be needing our Hotel in Miami on the night of the 23rd which we already bought. And, it's expensive to change tickets. We knew this was the chance we took, coming before the boys had visas. But, the part that hurt the most was when Marie said, "I could have picked up their visas today." That kept echoing through my head!!!! So, Gary left us there with the boys. We somehow managed not to get a calling card and the hotel had wireless, but no computer. Go figure.
We went to our rooms with absolutely no plan for how we were going to get home. We decided that we would just have to wait until in the morning when Gary could somehow manage to get us a calling card.
We all went to bed. I woke up at about 3:30AM (Wed. Dec. 23) to a restless Lovekender. I reached over to pat him back to sleep, and my hand was in poo. Explosive diarrhea to be more exact. There were splatter marks on the sheet despite the fact that he had on a diaper and pajamas. I got up, took Lovekender to the bathroom. I stood him on the floor while I stripped down. He then proceeded to poop all over the floor. (It’s a very FOUL smelling watery diarrhea that only a sick orphan could have.) I put him on the toilet and water shot out from his behind. I got him cleaned up in the sink, dried him off and I got washed up and put on new clothes. John stripped the bed of the sheet (there was no mattress pad.) The mattress underneath was soaked with poo. It needed to be burned at this point. John went up to the front desk to obtain more sheets and towel. I put Lovekender down next to Erickson on the other bed. I went to the bathroom to wipe up poo and came back to Love in a pile of his own vomit. Erickson rolled over in it too. So, I ran Love to the bathroom. He projectile vomited into the toilet…as in it splashes back out there is so much force. I stripped down both boys. John put Erickson and the pukey clothes in the shower. ( By the way, John said no one would be able to help us until 6 Am when someone came with the keys to the linens.) I had no towel for Lovekender. I dried him off with my clothes. We put both boys back to sleep on the bed. I told John I was going to take a walk (In the rain). I returned to the cries of Lovekender. He had pooped again. That bedspread was ruined. I stripped Love again, etc. etc. I then went to the front desk in tears. I said to the security guard, “Tsimouns mwen malad. ( I then gestured explosive diarrhea and projectile vomiting. Those are universal signs right? Mwen bezwen aide!”” My children are sick and I need help! I then forced him to come with me to our room so he could fully understand. WE had set all the linens outside the door in the rain because they were too foul smelling to have in the room. We walked in to Lovekender sitting naked on the tile floor and Erickson standing there shell shocked. Our mattresses were stripped bare and stained. The guy still said he couldn’t get to the linens. We asked if we could change rooms. He said he didn’t have the keys to that either. In front of him, I took everything off the table and wrapped Lovekender in the tablecloth. John and I sat there waiting for daylight. I, holding a sleeping Lovkender in a table cloth; John, with Erickson in his arms. We left the door open and listened to the rain.


That is where I leave you my dear reader….until I have time to post the next day of the story. Each day is it’s own special treat.

Visa appointments!

Today we got the final email...the final piece of important news....the boys have visa appointments scheduled for 8:30 am Dec. 22nd. At this appointment, (If all goes well and all the paperwork is accounted for) they Power of attorney will get a "yellow slip." The following day, she will take these yellow slips and get the boys' visas. (Theoretically.)

So, after much debate, John and I have decided to fly out on the 22nd, spend the 23rd day in Haiti and hope beyond all hope that the boys ACTUALLY get their visas. If so, we are flying out the night of the 23rd, overnighting in Miami, and arriving home on Christmas eve at about noon to Lexington. (I then have to go to work Christmas eve night. Total bummer. But, thankful I can provide a wonderful home and food for these kiddos.) John will just have to do the first bath and bedtime solo!! I guess the husband of a future midwife has to get used to that. So, the first real full day the boys have in Lexington will be Christmas day...which of course is insanity. No telling what these poor children will think! Talk about some culture shock. (Not to mention pricey airline tickets! Zoiks!)

If the boys, for some reason, do not get Visas as scheduled, I will fly home to work my shift, and John will bring the boys after getting visas.

We are excited and nervous!!! Our lives are about to turn upside down! These past 6 years of trying to adopt have been an adventure. But, I guess the adventure is just beginning! It's exciting, but, it ain't over till it's over. I feel like I wont' believe it until we land in Lexington. I can't wait to hold those little guys in my arms. I will, in just 5 short days!

one step closer to visa

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Ferguson Adkisson,

Please be informed that the I-600 petitions you filed at this office on behalf of Erickson and Love Kender Pierre Louis have been approved. Your case have been transferred to the Adoption Unit of the Consular Section for the visa process. This completes all action by this service on the petition. The Consular Section will soon contact you to follow up on your case.

Happy Holidays!

Regards,

USCIS Haiti

Meriah Carey has it right!

"I don't want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need.
I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree.
I just want you for my own. More than you could ever know.
Make my wish come true. All I want for Christmas is you."

Thanksgiving

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving....giving thanks that my boys are VERY close to coming home. I was sad that yet again, anyone under 35 qualifies for the kid table. So, it was John, Cyrus, me and Violet. I need to get these 2 boys home so we have a real kid table! That, and so Violet won't have to play with the dog. That, and so my boys can experience a FEAST!

BOTH BOYS HAVE PASSPORTS!!!!

I haven't seen them with my eyeballs, but that's the word on the street!

Missing Erickson and Lovekender. My thoughts are constantly drifting to them. I can't wait for them to play with Violet and I can't wait to hug them and hold them. It's been eleven months since we left them in Haiti. I didn't dream it would be this long before we would see them again. I hope they love their new home here. I just want to be on a plane, heading for Haiti.

You have GOT to be kidding me!!

I found out today, that not only do the boys not have visa appointments, they DON'T even have passports yet. The reason.....HAITI RAN OUT OF PASSPORT BOOKS.

New shipment of passport books (supposedly) arrives today. Printing (supposedly) begins tomorrow and then Monday is ANOTHER holiday in Haiti and then MAYBE next week, they will have their passports.

Boys WILL NOT be home for Thanksgiving.

Immigration

BOTH boys are now in immigration waiting for passports!

50% success

Erickson should get his passport tomorrow or the next day! We are still waiting on Lovekender's name to be given to Immigration. (Hopefully within a week.) I hung the Haitian flag on our house today. Feeling like it is so close!

In Vain

Why is it that I continue to google "Haiti" and expect a live video of the orphanage to suddenly appear? I wish I could see my boys. Longing for them.

Nesting

Let's see....I've organized my tool drawer and labeled every box in the storage room. Maybe if I purge my file cabinet, THEN the boys will be ready to come home. After that, I might have to actually clean instead of just organize!

More waiting part Deux

Evidently, the Haitian person who has to take "the list" of people ready for visas over to the US Embassy is on vacation out of the country. Once the "the list" gets to the US embassy, it's still another 6 weeks until we can go get the boys. By Halloween?

I've got the cutest little outfits for the boys to wear when we meet the birth parents! I just want to hold them for days on end and not let go!

More waiting

Evidently, the Haitian government need another copy of our driver's licenses before they can send our stuff over to the US Embassy. They only have 8 lbs of paperwork on us already...including scans of our passports. Looks like this hold up will cost our boys another 4-6 weeks.

Benin

The Portuguese first explored the coast of Benin in 1472 but did not begin trading there until 1553. During the 17th century the Dutch, English, French, and other Europeans also entered the trade. The principal export before the mid-19th century was always slaves. The volume of slave exports was at first small, but it increased rapidly in the second half of the 17th century, when this area became known to Europeans as the “Slave Coast,” and remained high until the 1840s. The principal centre for the trade was the coastal kingdom of Ouidah (Whydah), which was originally a tributary of Allada but had become an independent state by the 1680s. The slaves exported were predominantly war captives and were drawn from the entire area of modern Benin, including northern peoples such as the Bariba as well as communities near the coast. The Atlantic slave trade had a substantial and deleterious impact in Benin, causing the depopulation of certain areas as well as a general militarization of society. The prominence of slaves from this area in the transatlantic trade is reflected in the survival of elements of its culture in black communities of the New World, especially in the “voodoo” religion of Haiti, which incorporates many spirit cults and deities of the Ewe-speaking peoples.
http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/60879/Benin/55088/The-slave-trade

Little suits

I'm getting really excited about my boys coming home! It's feeling real, now. Today, I bought them little suits for our meeting with their birth parents. Little vests, little clip on ties. So cute!!!
We also got more pictures of them today, and Erickson is actually smiling! It's getting so close!

Haitian Zanmi

Last night, we had our Haitian Creole tutor, Rose over for dinner. Her 3 kids and another kid that is living with them came over. Her kids are Mackens, 15, Misla, 13, Jonathan, 10 and the friend, Fabrize, 12. As soon as we finished eating, Violet and Fabrize started running around the house. Misla joined in. They were laughing and screaming. It was so great!!! Violet took them to the back yard and they ran and ran. It was just wonderful to see. It assured me that when Erickson and Lovekender get here, they'll be playing in no time. Kids are kids, whether they speak the same language or not. It just made me feel sorry for Violet a little bit. She is soooo bored with me most of the time. She just wants to PLAY with other KIDS. She needs her brothers so badly!! I can't wait to see those three kidos running around my house!!! And, our Haitian-American friends promised to come over frequently and play! It will be reassuring for the boys to hear Creole and have fun with some older Haitian kids.

We're OUT!!!

Stephanie phoned and said that the boys' file is out of MOI!!! Now, it's 4-6 weeks for Passports and Visa!! Should I start packing? It actually doesn't feel real. It won't be real until I see them in their beds asleep!

Stats on the (tiny) boys

Lovekender: (age 2 1/2) Weight: 22 lbs. Height:29 Waist:21-1/2 Length:16 Shoes:5

Erickson: (age 5) Weight:29 Height:39-1/2 Waist:20 Length:21 Shoes:9

by comparison VIOLET: age 4 Wt: 36ish, Ht: 40.5 in, Waist: 20, Leg Length: 22 Shoes: 8-9

Missed by their sister

On Tuesday, Violet and I were in the car on the way to swim lessons. Violet says, "Mommie, when are the boys coming home?" I said, "I don't know. It takes a long time doesn't it?" Then she said, "I wish they would just drop out of the sky and then we could catch-ted them."

Too sweet! I could really use some news soon!

Measles

There is a measles outbreak at the Orphanage. Wondering if my little guys are sick and thinking how miserable the sick children must be. No popsicles and TV and mom to rock them when they don't feel good.

It's an infant!!

I found out today that Erickson and Lovekender have a younger sibling. WOW! If the parent's take it to the orphanage, Marie and Stephanie will let us know as soon as possible.

Good Night

Good Night Erickson, Good Night Lovekender, Mwen Renmen ou mon petit cheri!
Can't wait to hug your necks and rock you to sleep. Bon Nuit!

Minister of Justice

Stephanie called today and let us know that Erickson and Lovekender's file is before the Minister of Justice awaiting a Certification of the Adoption Decree. This takes 4-6 weeks and then it takes 4-6 weeks for passports and visas. So...at Least 2 more months, if not longer. September?

Good news

I talked to Stephanie today. She just got back from a trip to Haiti. She said that Lovekender putters around like an old man and is a "hoot." She said Erickson was very happy and doing much better than when she was there in August. She said that she only witnessed a couple of meltdowns! Evidentally, Erickson carries around the little photo album I made for him. She said he carries it around like a security blanket and knows who we are in the pictures!!!

She said our file in MOI is just hanging out waiting to be signed. That office is only open on Thursdays and Fridays. Once the boys are out of MOI, they will be moved to Port au Prince to await Visas. Then, we can go pick them up!!! No telling how much longer our file will wait in MOI, and then it's about a month after that.

It's all I can do not to sign these boys up for the July swim lessons. But....I don't want to get crazy, now! I'll just wait.

Milkshake

On my mix, there is the song "Milkshake." The chorus goes something like, "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and something somethin' is better than your and something something is better than yours.....the boys are waiting."
We've heard this song dozens of times and Violet loves it. But, for the first time today she announced, "She said,'The boys are waiting'!!!". She was very excited about this. Then I realized, she thinks the artist is talking about Violet's brother's waiting in Haiti!!
So now, I think I might have a theme song to our long...long...long adoption! "The boys are waiting!"

Brothers

Dear Erickson and Lovekender,

I love you so much. Your room is ready! I've been sleeping in there because your daddy has been snoring. I can't wait for you to be sleeping in there! You are going to love it here. Food, fun, kisses and hugs. I miss you so much. Don't get too big! Hopefully we'll see you in a couple of months! Your sister can't wait. Or as she says, "I don't wait for the brothers to come home."

Love you,
Mommie

that's sooo Haiti

Our Latest update from Stephanie:

"I wanted to send a group update and let you all know that communication with Haiti has been difficult at best this last week. I know several of you are waiting for information on referrals, details/updates on your case, status of your kids, etc. Please know that Digicell (our main source of communication with all three orphanages we work with) has been struggling with their service this week. Because of this my only contact has been in 30 second spurts where I’m told “I can’t hear you” and then we get disconnected. Frustrating at best…especially for those wanting updates. Please know that I’ll continue efforts to contact our facilitators and I’m sure Digicell is continuing their efforts to improve their service J

In addition, please be praying for the country of Haiti this weekend and into next week. Starting yesterday the government is in a senate session where elections will take place, votes will be made, etc. Although there is no signs of immediate problems these sessions typically lead to some types of demonstrations and/or protests . All of that said, do not be surprised if there are offices closed next week. I’m not stating that will happen, but I am wanting to prepare you that it might.

Thank you all…each and every one. I hope that you find blessings in your weekend, and know that we continue to work towards bringing each of your children home. "

Friday's

Another Friday with no word on the boys' files. I really need them to come home. This just got old.

the best Birthday gift

I got this ray of hope in an email from Stephanie:

"Hi Kendra,

I just wanted to update you that Marie is seeing a lot of movement in MOI. Although we’ve not seen your files come out yet, she is seeing 4 or 5 a week (which is good, she had 25+ in there when you went in) So this last few weeks has been very positive. We only get MOI updates on Friday, but I’ll keep checking back until your guys are on their way!"

Could these boys be coming home soon?!!! I hope so!

antoher message

This was posted on our yahoo group by an adoptive mom from Canada. She is French speaking. She is in Haiti visiting. Evidentially, files are getting reading to move out of MOI!!! Please let ours be among them. There has been no electricity.... she writes...

"I hope everyone keep their sanity, it is not easy on anyone. And add the fact
that their is almost no electricity , I 'm staying at a friend house and the
city asked the owner to rebuilt their walls 2 meters from the streets. They give
them 5 days!!! Many did not do it , more like almost nobody... So now , like 5-6
months later, the city send buldoser to broke the walls, it is desolation all in
the streets, walls broken everywhere, especially in Petionville and Delmas. The
problems is also that often the electricity cable are in those walls, so
imagine... "

Delmas is where our main orphanage in Port-au-Prince is. The obstacles they face in Haiti!

MOI purgatory

The closer it gets, the longer the wait. I just checked the yahoo group and others have been in MOI for 6 months. Evidentially they are now requiring some paper that Marie has to go get in Archives?! Something about, she's waiting until she has them all to turn them all in at one time. Anyway, it's slowing MOI down by 2 or 3 months. This is the gossip I have heard. As tomorrow is March 1st, I'm a little down because I thought the boys might be home by March. Once they are out of MOI, it should be another month (at least) to get passport and visa. I think I can kiss March good-bye for pick-up. I'm suddenly seeing my visions of going to the pool this summer, gymnastics, birthday parties all kind of dwindle. It's disappointing.

the magic word...update

Stephanie sent an email with details for the next Haiti group trip on April 4th. At the end of the email she wrote....
"Remember this week is Karnival, so there aren’t any reports or updates until perhaps the end of this week."

Oh, the coveted updates! Time is really dragging here at the end! Violet has been playing a new game where I pretend to be Erickson and she pretends to be Violet. She is so cute and sweet to him. Today, she was pretending to go to preschool and telling Erickson about how everyone will be his friend and how much fun he will have. Too cute!

sad update

This was in an email from Stephanie today:

"A couple of weeks ago a very well respected and prominent adoption attorney was kidnapped in Port-au-Prince. It is told that he apparently recognized his kidnappers and with that was shot and killed. This man was a cousin of Marie's (the director of our boy's orphanage), and a pillar in the community. This has devastated the entire adoption community, and of course Marie’s entire family. Your prayers are appreciated. "

As I sit in my comfortable house, I'm reminded of and humbled by the sacrifices of those working to get Erickson and Lovekender out of Haiti. I'm speechless and sad.

When?

I can't wait for these little guys to get here. Their room is almost ready. Just a few minor finishing touches. I need a lamp a bookcase and a bulletin board. I can't imagine what it will be like with 3 kids! Yikes. Plus, I'm really busy with school. All the same, I want them here. Violet needs her brothers. I want to feel their wooly hair on my cheek and pull them up in my lap and rock them. I want to take them to the doctor and get those nasty parasites out of their bodies. I want them to eat and grow and laugh and play and read and color and run and run and run. Hopefully they will be home in 6 weeks or so. I love you Erickson and Lovekender! We also need a minivan. Yowsers!