email from Stephanie

Hi Kendra,

I think Erickson more then Lovekender is suffering from a bit of a broken heart. He reminds me of my son, who was diagnosed “failure to thrive”. Once home he did fine, although I still see where he is very sensitive, and he gets overwhelmed in large groups (not that anyone would notice or consider a “disorder”) Josh had a brother who was 4 at the orphanage and every picture I have of Jon he seems to be crying. He had moments of fun interaction, but he was definitely a sad little boy. He sorely missed his poppee. Once home he also did very well. They were both boys that needed a relationship with a parent. I hope and predict that Erickson will be a very different little boy once he is home. I’m glad that by the time we go in December you’ll be so much further into the adoption process (lets hope you’re out of IBESR and on your way!) I think Lovekender is also sensitive, but he doesn’t seem as sad and withdrawn as Erickson. He just seems to be a toddler unsure of strange white people. J I would read up on attachment and bonding to make sure you are taking deliberate steps with them both when they come home. Better to assume there is loss and grief to overcome then to not and miss something—however small it may seem.

I talked with Marie today and she said they are both doing better. You were right, she was under the impression you paid up through September because you wanted care through that time. I asked her if she thinks they need their own nanny and she said no, that they are doing better. We’ll want to ask the staff in December if what we see when we’re there is what they see when we’re not there.