myhaitiboys

My final post for this blog

2010-01-05T19:17:00.000-08:00

I'm going to try and wrap this thing up here folks...

We were in immigration in Miami..
So, we finally got through immigration and we sprinted towards the gate. We hadn't checked any baggage on the way home, so we just had two kids, two big bags and a camera bag. We tried to hurry, but Erickson was wanting to stop at every escalator. I don't blame him, they are cool. I wish I had two in my house. But, we needed to get on a plane, I didn't have time to introduce him to America yet.

We dashed to the gate and were relieved to find that our flight to Dallas was delayed. So, we gave each other a high 5 and John went to get some over-priced, bad food. We were sitting there awhile when we saw Tom. (He was on our flight from Port au Prince to Miami with his new daughter, Lise.) "Hey, what are yout doing here? We didn't realize we were on the same flight," we said to Tom.

"We you guys on the plane when we de-boarded?" Tom asked.
"What are you talking about?"
"We were on the plane and sat on the tarmac for about an hour, then they made us de-board. Evidentally Dallas had some snow and is not taking new arrivals. The flight was full."

John went up to the ticket counter. We deduced that we had actually missed the flight and when we didn't show up, they gave our seats away to stand-by people. So, now, we really didn't have tickets to Dallas. Tom went to the counter too, along with everyone else, to see about flight changes. (It's probably about 7 PM now.) So, I have 3 kids and all the luggage and John and Tom are in line. Then, we hear it announced that the flight has changed to a different gate. So, Tom and John practically run to the other gate. I get all three kids and the luggage and follow behind. I'm sitting on the floor with the kids for a good while (30-45 min.) when Erickson just takes off. He sprints away into the crowd. I practically throw Lovekender onto Lise and tell her "Rete ici" in Creole, "Stay here" and sprint after Erickson screaming, "ERICKSON" at the top of my lungs in the airport. I'm yelling to the crowd, "STOP HIM!" I finally catch him. I drag him,kicking and laughing, back to our spot on the floor. Luckily Lise and Love are still there. "KANPE!" STOP!! He thinks this is a funny game and keeps trying to run off.
I am reduced to holding him flailing. I'm sure this looks really great to all of the people shooting me sideways glances. I'm also feeling extra embarrassed when African-Americans look at me. I have know idea what they are really thinking, but I project that they are thinking something to the effect of, "Those poor black kids stuck with that pitiful excuse for a mother. She is so white and has no clue what she is doing." To add insult to injury, I'm wearing the remaining clothes that weren't shat upon. A thin, tight black t-shirt with white flowers on it with a teal spaghetti-strap knit sun dress on over it with coral colored socks with white poka-dots with Chaco sandals on. It's a great look, let me tell you. Meanwhile, Lovekender is just wearing a bathing suit. No socks, no shoes. It was all I had left clean. He did have some shirt on.
so, John finally comes back to us. He called American Airlines while in line and got us booked on a flight to Dallas. But, we don't know where Tom is. He is no where in sight. So, we take Lise, and Tom's luggage and go to our new gate. (We are on Gate number 3 now, I think.) Luckily, Tom is at that same gate waiting in line. Tom gets tickets too. They start boarding the flight. John is in line for boarding passes. They are about to close the flight. They say they can't get us on. I watch as the door to the plane closes. I really couldn't tell you what time it is at this point. (Let's say 8 or 9).
The poor Christmas Eve workers at the desk are trying to help the remaining people. What they really need is a stiff drink. The woman is trying to get us 4 tickets to Dallas that night. I mention that we really only need 3. She says, "How old is the youngest?" I say, "3, but he is 22 pounds and wearing 12 month clothing and I hold him the entire flight anyway. It is a wasted seat." She says, "I'll see what I can do." She gets us 4 tickets on the next flight out of Dallas. Unfortunately, the seats aren't together. She says they can probably change that when we get to the gate. We go sprinting off to another gate. (Did I mention that I am tired of sprinting while carrying a kid and luggage. And, that because John has to carry Erickson, I have to do the luggage. So, here I am in my ridiculous outfit with a tiny 3 year old strapped to me, a duffle bag over one shoulder and pulling a rolling carry on.) I wish I had it on video.
We get to the (fourth) gate and we start to board the flight. They are able to get our tickets 2 seats together and 2 seats. We board. John and Erickson are in row 7. Lovekender and I are in row 16. They tell us there will be a slight delay. That is when Love had his 1st bowel movement. The people in the seats infront of, next to , and behind me are covering their noses with the closest spare garmet they have. (I'm telling you it's foul folks.) It's embarrassing, but what the hell am I suppose to do? The sweet man behind me gets my bag from the overhead bin. I fish out a diaper and wipes one handed and head to the generously sized airplane bathroom. There, I change his blow out. I put him in some shorts that were dirty, but are now moved up to the "not so dirty" category. The man behind me puts my bag back up and we sit down. Love falls back asleep and I put him in the seat next to me with his head in my lap.
The flight attendants say we are ready for take off. The woman comes by and says that I need to be holding onto "my baby" as long as the plane is in motion. Meanwhile, I'm thinking, "This is the same 3 year olyd "baby" you all made me buy a seat for. Do I get my thousand dollars back?"
We start rolling out to the runway, then they announce that Dallas is still not taking new arrivals. We will now be enjoying a movie, "Up." My headphones don't work. I change another bowel movement. This time, I want to throw the soiled shorts away, but I'm afraid it will mess up the airplane trash system. So, I just stuff them in my bag that the nice man behind me keeps getting for me.
I ask the flight attendant, "If there is a seat by my husband, can I switch?"
"Sure," he says Gill. "Go right ahead." And then he heads on down the aisle. The words I should have chosen were, "Could you facilitate the single people around us moving seats so that we can sit together?" He must not be a dad.
The movie "UP" ended. We sat. Finally, we flew and 2 more diaper changes later, we somehow got to Dallas. We arrived at 2 AM
Dallas freezing!!!! Lovekender was half naked. I stopped and fished my jeans out of my bag and put them on under the dress. John's Dad had reserved us a hotel room, but it was far from the airport, "but he got a good deal." We stood out in the cold trying to find transportation to this hotel. There were no shuttles that went that far south of Dallas. I took the kids inside and John stood out there figuring out how the hell to get to this hotel. We ended up splitting a mini-van taxi with some other poor fools with hotels in no-man's land. We probably paid more for the transportation that the difference in a airport hotel price. But, alas, at least we had a place to stay. One thing I've learned from travel...anytime you think you are saving some money, you aren't really doing yourself any favors in the long run.
John and the boys passed out in the hotel. I HAD to take a shower. I didn't shower the entire time we were in Haiti. The Habitation Hatt shower wasn't doing it for me. I have to be REALLY dirty to take a cold shower. I'm too skinny, I never get warmed back up.
I finally went to bed at 3 AM.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Dec. 25th, 2009
Lovekender woke up at 5:30AM with another blow out. I just stuck him in the bathtub. His first warm bath ever!! I did video that. I woke John up at 6:15. We packed up, headed to the airport.
We were delayed again, and our seats were separate again, but no matter. It was our last flight! We finally boarded and flew from Dallas to Lexington. Erickson had a screaming fit for an hour of the flight. It was really bad. We were becoming more numb to these fits, but the looks on the faces of everyone around are pretty awful. I'm sure it also looks horrible. A big 6'2" white guy, physically restraining a 35 lb. black boy. If John let him go, he would just flail and hit and kick the seats in front of us. He had to hold him. My poor husband deserves a trophy the size of New Jersey!
FINALLY, FINALLY, FINALLY, we landed in Lexington. The best feeling ever. For the first time, I teared up. We really were home. We made it. We didn't die in a firey crash! Lovekender's tiny body was in my arms. I daydreamed about that moment everyday for 21 months. Every time I saw a plane, I would think, "Someday, that will be me landing with the boys." And here we were!!!! HOME! HOME! HOME!! Nou rete ici ensemble! "WE live here together, " I kept telling the boys. (They probably thought, "we now live on an airplane?!") Poor little dudes. I'd pay a lot of money to know what they were thinking.
We got off the plane and headed down the little escalator. Violet, Mom, Dad and Cy were waiting for us. Violet was jumping up and down and screaming. She immediately hugged and hugged and hugged Erickson. AHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhh......we are home! We are family!!! Now, the real work begins.

This is the official end of "my haiti boys" blog. They aren't my Haiti boys any more. They are my sons, and before I know it, they will be young men. I just hope I can do right by them. I'm going to try my best. I'll make mistakes (and I already have), but there is always a new day to try again. I can always do better.

You can continue to follow our journey...
www.Lovekender.blogpot.com
www.VioletEstelle.blogspot.com
www.EricksonPierre.blogspot.com

the trip home... part deux.

2010-01-01T14:57:00.000-08:00

Let's see, where was I. OK, yes, puke and poo.

So, Morning finally came and the owner of the hotel still never showed. John took Erickson to breakfast, while Lovekender and I curled up on the tablecloth on the edge of one of the nasty mattresses. When John got back, I went to go sit and have some coffee myself. I just ordered toast. There is something about the smell of human waste and burnin trash that really supresses one's appetite. I sat, sipping my coffee, nibbling my toast, thinking about work. I was so worried about missing my shift and about not being able to call. I was afraid I would lose my job. In the big picture, obviously my family is more important. But, now that I am the sole breadwinner for a household of 5, it is important to have a paycheck. Each dollar is accounted for. I'm one shift away from not having enough money to pay the mortgage and the second mortgage for the adoption. More importantly, I need the health insurance. These boys need medical attention. Perhaps surgery for Erickson, who appears to have an umbilical hernia and diastisis rectii. The night before, I had serisously contemplated flying home, as scheduled on the 23rd by myself so I could get to work by the 24th. However, considering the events of the previous 6 hours, I knew there was no way in hell John could manage these two kids on a plane by himself. So, I had to stay. And, how could I miss the boys' first flight home? Their first night in America?

I went back to the room and John and I got everything ready to go back to Marie's. We needed to get medicine for the boys and we were hoping to meet the boys' birthparents.

Gary picked us up and we headed to Marie's. On the way, Gary was going to stop and get an international phone card for John. Driving through the streets/creek beds of Haiti is so facinating. It's amazing to see the people, how they dress, carrying things on their heads, vendors on the street. There might be a man with a "tire store." He is sitting there with 6 tires and an umbrella. So, we pull over to one of these tattered umbrellas on the side of the "road." Gary talks to the vendor in Creole. The vendor man hands him these 3 little card board pieces. They look like the -save-ceareal-box-tops-for-education- thingies. Gary hands these to John and tells him that he just has to insert it into his phone and then he can call international. John tries to explain that there is no place in his phone to insert a small piece of cardboard. Jean Gary says that he will just put them in his cell phone and then we can use his to call international. John asks how many minutes we have. Gary says, "Probably about 11 or 12." John and I look at each other. We now have 11 or 12 minutes to call American Airlines and change 4 flights from tonight at 5:30 to tomorrow. We need to call my work and we need to call my parents and let them know what is going on and that they will have Violet another night.

So, we get to Marie's. I sit there with the boys while John tries to work Gary's phone. He finally gets through to American Airlines. I literally set my stopwatch. After nine minutes on hold, I cut John off. We need a new plan. Last resort: our cell phones. John calls his dad really quickly and tells him the situation. We need him to get on-line and give us several flight options. We will call back in about an hour. There is no telling how much that 4 minute conversation will cost!!! Roaming from Haiti. Not pretty.

I then take Gary's phone and call Central Baptist. I know my director is out of the office until the 29th, so I decide to just call HR directly. As the phone is ringing, there is a voice that says something in Creole, but all I catch is "deux minutes." I have 2 minutes!! HR answers the phone. I frantically try to explain to the receptionist, "I'm Kendra Adkisson, I am a nurse in Labor and Delievery, we are adopting 2 boys from Haiti and we are stuck down here because the embassy is closed and we can't get visas and I'm suppose to be at work tomorrow night at 7PM and this is a family emergency and I can't get there." The receptionist says, "Let me transfer you to someone who is in charge of that." (TRANSFER!!! I"ve got like 90 seconds dude!) So, I get transferred and I get voice mail for someone. I leave the above message as fast as I can on her answering machine and then add..."I have no internet and spotty cell phone reception so you have no way of calling me back. Please call my mother, Bonnie Adkisson, she might be able to explain more if we get a chance to talk to her. Her number is........." And with that, I hang up. I have absolutely no idea if the person I left a message with is working that day. I don't know if L&D will get the message. And again, I can't help but think I'm going to be fired.

I then call Mom. "Mom, I have about 2 minutes so just listen to me. The embassy is closed. We can't come home today. We are trying to book new flights. You'll have to watch Violet another night. Tell her we love her and Merry christmas. Human Resources might call you about where I am. Could you call a pedeatrician and try to get us appointments for next week? We'll let you know when we know when we are coming home. The boys are with us and it's great, but they are sick. Thank you and I love you, Bye." Mom mumbled something about Violet was fine and she loved us. Then we hung up. I think I went over the 2 minutes. I hope I didn't cost Gary about $80 on his phone bill.

The people at the orphanage said Marie would be back by about 10:00 AM. So, we just hung out on Marie's porch, playing with the boys. Marie came back. She gave me amoxicillin and Flagyl for the boys. However, none of it had been refrigerated and it was expired. It also seemed pretty watery. Definitely not the long term plan, but it would have to do for today. She also made Lovekender some ...well, ....gruel. It looked disgusting. Lovekender practically inhaled it. I asked Marie what it was. She said it was ground rice and flour. Note to self.

Marie said that the birthparents might not come after all because it was raining. But, to our surprise, they showed up later. We saw the mother walk through the orphanage gate with a sheet of plastic over her. The mom and dad walked on to the porch and sat with us. The dad immediately began talking and Marie was translating. She said, "He says he is so happy to meet you and that we are all family now." As she was translating, the dad had his arm around me and I was holding the mother's arm. We asked Marie to tell them that "We love Erickson and Lovekender and it is an honor that they trust us to raise their precious boys. We will do our best. We love them so much." I brought out my list of questions to ask the birthparents. I'll save this part of the story for Erickson and Lovekender. It is their story to tell, not mine.

It was a beautiful time with the parents on the porch that rainy day in Haiti. We have a lot of pictures and video. I'll be framing a large picture of all of us together. The boys will always know that their beautiful parents made the hardest choice parents can make. In America, we have the luxury of keeping our children. When people say, "I just can't imagine how those parents could do that!", I just think to myself..."of course you can't imagine it." I wish it were mandatory for every high school softmore to go to a third world country. It might put an end to the "me" generation. If you didn't have a job, no prospect of a job, no education, pitiful living conditions, no running water, no electricity, no access to medical care, no food to feed your child, you might send them to someone who could. If I were on a bus with Violet and it was about to crash and there were people standing on the side of the road with outstretched arms, I'd throw Violet out to whomever was there. That's all I need to say about that.

After visiting with the birth parents for over an hour, they left. I took a picture of them as they walked out the gate of the orphanage....my sons' mother coverd in plastic. I wonder if I'll ever see her again. I wonder how Erickson and Lovekender's younger brother Jameson's life will be there in Haiti.

Meanwhile, John had called his dad and we had tickets to leave Haiti on the 24th at 1:10 PM. It cost $400 to change all of our tickets, plus we had to get a hotel room for Dallas the night of the 24th. There were no flights to go straight through on the same day.

We left Marie's and headed back to the Habitation Hatt. John took a little snooze and I tried to entertain the boys by the pool. It was actually too chilly to get in (overcast and drizziling). I think I just ate a protein bar and then we went to sleep early. I still didn't feel dirty enough to take a shower in Haiti. (Yes, our room had been mopped and we had new linens.) That night we didn't have copious amounts of bodily fluids.

DECEMBER 24th, 2009

We packed up all our things. We left behind several pooped on outfits. I didn't want to throw them away because they just needed to be washed. So, I just sat them beside the trash can. I have no doubt that they were found and used by someone.

Gary picked us up and we headed to Marie's again. We picked up Megan who was there to adopt Lovely. We said good-bye to Marie and headed to the Embassy for our 9:00 AM appointment. We waited for only about a half an hour and we got the boys' passports with VISAS!!!! However, we immediately noticed that their last names were Ferguson.

Insert side note: John and I have different last names. I already had a name when I got married and I'm not John's property, so as any self-respecting feminist does, I kept MY name. It's hard to say and spell, but alas, it is mine. (Actually it is my father's, but what to do?) I'm always suprised at how confusing me having my own name is to people. From block buster, to the DMV, people seemed baffled.

At any rate, I filled out all of the adoption paperwork. I put myself as the "petitioner" and John as the spouce. So, when we went to Haiti last year, the embassy had listed the boys' names as Erickson Adkisson and Lovekender Adkisson. We laughed about it at the time. The problem is, we made the boys' plane reservations with the name Adkisson. We immediately had to call John's Dad (on John's cell, yikes!) and ask him to call back American Airlines and change the tickets to the last name of Ferguson. Long story short, (too late) it was $600 just to change the NAMES, not the flights!!! John's Dad, after many threats, got AA to change the fee to only $300.00.

We left the embassy and headed to the airport. Erickson immediately had a breakdown. John had to practically drag Erickson through. I had Lovekender in my Ergo baby carrier and all the luggage, while John dealt with Erickson. All the Haitians were trying to talk to him and tell him what was going on, but it was no use. Finally, when we got to an escalator and Erickson was so mezmorized, that we didn't hear another peep...until we boarded the plane. Erickson did his best rendition of a complete and total meltdown on the plane from Haiti to Miami. He was thrashing and kicking, so John had to physically restrain him. (That looks REALLY good to a plane full of Haitians, I'm sure!) Erickson finally screamed himself into a deep sleep. He missed the entire flying experience.

When we landed in Miami, we had to go through customs and immigration. We were "held" back in this special room. We watched the minutes tick by and new we would miss our connecting flight to Dallas. I was also sweating bullets to call work before 5PM. But, there were big signs posted everywhere, "ABSOLUTELY NO CELL PHONE USE." The homeland security people look like a serious bunch. I didn't want to push it. So, I obeyed.

More tales from immigration another day....We will continue with the airport and that will be my last post for this blog!

The nightmare before Christmas....Part One

2009-12-28T19:59:00.000-08:00

John and I just took an epic journey to Haiti to pick up the boys.

(Prologue: December was very busy for me. I worked Dec 4th, 5th and 6th nights and then left Dec. 7th for a week orientation at Frontier school of midwifery. Then, came home on the 11th, worked that night, the 12th and the 13th. I was pretty much comatosed the 14th, felt jet lagged on the 15th, our anniversary was the 16th, and on Thursday the 17th, we got the email that the boys were scheduled for visa appointments on the 22nd. Visas are issued on the next business day. Usually, people don't go down to pick up their kids until they have visas in hand. But, I had to work the night of the 23rd and 24th, and we wanted to be home for Christmas. SO, after much debate, John and I decided to fly down on the 22nd, spend the night, go to the embassy to get visas on the 23rd and then fly out the night of the 23rd. Spend the night in Miami and then be home on Christmas Eve by about 1:oo. Then, I would work that night. Amy Wheeler agreed to work the 23rd for me (THANK YOU!!). So, I had 6 days notice, and I worked 38 of those hours, slept a little and packed and cleaned and did Christmas shopping. Violet went to spend the night at my Mom's for about the 4th time in Dec.

Tues: Dec. 22nd- John and I woke up at 3:15 AM to get to the airport by 4AM. We flew from Lex. to Dallas to Miami to Haiti. Our flight to Haiti was delayed about an hour and a half. Right as I got on the plane, I saw that I had a message from Stephanie (our adoption agency rep.). I was trying to listen to it on the plane with bad reception and the pilot announcing that we needed to fasten seat belts, etc. So, all I heard was, "This is Stephanie, something something....SNAFU at the embassy....something....not sure if you can check messages.....something......" Despite warnings to turn of all electronic devices, I listend to the message again. Still, all I heard was "SNAFU with the embassy." So, for the next 2 1/2 hours, I was very worried. A million "worst-case" scenarios ran through my head. It made for a worrisome flight. Everything in Haiti is pretty much the true military definition of "SNAFU: Situation Normal All F*&^% Up" It's actually a perfect description.
Finally we landed in Haiti. Our plan was to find Big. He's the biggest guy in Haiti, hence the name "Big." He stands outside the airport and gets you where you need to go. We were going to find Big and have him call Veniel (the owner of Wall's guest house where we made reservations. We love it there. It is right across the "street" from the orhanage.") However, we couldn't find Big and John Gary was there to pick us up. How John Gary knew to pick us up is still a mystery. Our adoption agency person had told us to hire him as a driver. But, since were were staying across the street, we didn't think it was necessary. At any rate, John Gary was there at the airport. We said, "We are staying at Wall's."
Gary said, "You can't stay at Wall's. Marie doesn't let "her kids" stay there. OK.....? (I had heard last year that there was some falling out between Marie and Veniel. I didn't think it would be a problem a year later. Plus, I didn't think she could say anything about it since they aren't really "her kids" anymore.) But, nonetheless, we didn't want to tick off Marie. Getting visas for our boys was completely in her hands.
So, we said, "Where should we stay?" Gary told us about 2 different places. We didn't really care which one, so he told us to stay at the Habitation Hatt.
We got to Marie's house, the office of Petite Angels de Chantal, and where some of the children stay. Our boys had been here, at her house, in Port-au-Prince for days so they could go to the embassy to get visas and to get medical appointments. Marie came to greet us on her porch and again re-iterated that we could not stay at Wall's. (Let me interject here that Marie can speak English, but it is slightly broken. You are never quite sure if you understood what she just told you and you are never quite sure that she understood you. I must also say her English is a million times more than my Creole capabilities.She is also large in stature, taller than I, maybe 5'11" and a very no-nonsense kind of woman.) I continue...We didn't ask questions. Then, she proceeded to tell us that they went for their visa appointments today and got the "yellow ticket." (The coveted ticket you get to present to the embassy to get your visa.) Marie said, "The embassy will be closed tomorrow for a Christmas party, so we will go get their visas on the morning of the 24th," Marie said

"But our plane leaves tomorrow night at 5:30," we said in dismay.
"Oh, I wish I had known because I could have gone back to the embassy this afternoon to get their visas. It is better for you to go home with Megan and Tom on the 24th, " Marie said, very non-chalantly. (Megan and Tom are 2 other adoptive parents who were also coming to pick up their kids.)
"We thought they were open on the 23rd. We thought they were only closed for Christmas," we said.
" When I went today, they said they are closed tomorrow for a Christmas party, " Marie said.
"I need to be home by the 24th to work that night. I am a nurse...enfymie," I tried to explain in vain.
"It is no problem. You can call American Airlines and change your flight." Marie suggested. Both Gary and Marie agreed that the Habitation Hatt would have internet and that Gary could get us international calling cards. We found out the hard way on our first trip that even a quick 4 min call to the States costs AN INCREDIBLE AMOUNT.

You have got to be kidding me!!! John and I just looked at each other wide eyed and shell shocked. What were we to do? There was nothing we could do. We were stuck, in Haiti. I could fly home by myself the following day, or I could stay with him, but risk losing my job because of no-call, no-show on CHRISTMAS EVE!!! I was a mess inside, but, I just sat there calmly.
Marie went to go get the boys and bring them out to us. They walked besider her holding her hands. They were adorable...and TINY!!! Erickson smiled a little and Lovekender was very stoic. We held them and loved them. They were about the same size as they were last year.
Before Gary took us to the Habitat Hatt, John said he wanted to walk over to Vinele's and tell him we wouldn't be staying there tonight. Marie and Gary said, "No, you can just call him from the hotel." So we left.
After a very bumpy ride, we arrived at Habitation Hatt. (The roads in Haiti are comprable to creek beds. Drivers just zig zag back and forth to stay out of water and trenches. It's pretty much just dirt and gravel, trash and water.)
At the front desk, John learned that our "hotel" was $106 a night. (Much more than Wall's.) In addition, we would now have to have Gary drive us. Which, turned out to be $60 + $80 + $60 for the three days. WOW!!! Not to mention, we would now not be needing our Hotel in Miami on the night of the 23rd which we already bought. And, it's expensive to change tickets. We knew this was the chance we took, coming before the boys had visas. But, the part that hurt the most was when Marie said, "I could have picked up their visas today." That kept echoing through my head!!!! So, Gary left us there with the boys. We somehow managed not to get a calling card and the hotel had wireless, but no computer. Go figure.
We went to our rooms with absolutely no plan for how we were going to get home. We decided that we would just have to wait until in the morning when Gary could somehow manage to get us a calling card.
We all went to bed. I woke up at about 3:30AM (Wed. Dec. 23) to a restless Lovekender. I reached over to pat him back to sleep, and my hand was in poo. Explosive diarrhea to be more exact. There were splatter marks on the sheet despite the fact that he had on a diaper and pajamas. I got up, took Lovekender to the bathroom. I stood him on the floor while I stripped down. He then proceeded to poop all over the floor. (It’s a very FOUL smelling watery diarrhea that only a sick orphan could have.) I put him on the toilet and water shot out from his behind. I got him cleaned up in the sink, dried him off and I got washed up and put on new clothes. John stripped the bed of the sheet (there was no mattress pad.) The mattress underneath was soaked with poo. It needed to be burned at this point. John went up to the front desk to obtain more sheets and towel. I put Lovekender down next to Erickson on the other bed. I went to the bathroom to wipe up poo and came back to Love in a pile of his own vomit. Erickson rolled over in it too. So, I ran Love to the bathroom. He projectile vomited into the toilet…as in it splashes back out there is so much force. I stripped down both boys. John put Erickson and the pukey clothes in the shower. ( By the way, John said no one would be able to help us until 6 Am when someone came with the keys to the linens.) I had no towel for Lovekender. I dried him off with my clothes. We put both boys back to sleep on the bed. I told John I was going to take a walk (In the rain). I returned to the cries of Lovekender. He had pooped again. That bedspread was ruined. I stripped Love again, etc. etc. I then went to the front desk in tears. I said to the security guard, “Tsimouns mwen malad. ( I then gestured explosive diarrhea and projectile vomiting. Those are universal signs right? Mwen bezwen aide!”” My children are sick and I need help! I then forced him to come with me to our room so he could fully understand. WE had set all the linens outside the door in the rain because they were too foul smelling to have in the room. We walked in to Lovekender sitting naked on the tile floor and Erickson standing there shell shocked. Our mattresses were stripped bare and stained. The guy still said he couldn’t get to the linens. We asked if we could change rooms. He said he didn’t have the keys to that either. In front of him, I took everything off the table and wrapped Lovekender in the tablecloth. John and I sat there waiting for daylight. I, holding a sleeping Lovkender in a table cloth; John, with Erickson in his arms. We left the door open and listened to the rain.

That is where I leave you my dear reader….until I have time to post the next day of the story. Each day is it’s own special treat.

Visa appointments!

2009-12-17T19:54:00.000-08:00

Today we got the final email...the final piece of important news....the boys have visa appointments scheduled for 8:30 am Dec. 22nd. At this appointment, (If all goes well and all the paperwork is accounted for) they Power of attorney will get a "yellow slip." The following day, she will take these yellow slips and get the boys' visas. (Theoretically.)

So, after much debate, John and I have decided to fly out on the 22nd, spend the 23rd day in Haiti and hope beyond all hope that the boys ACTUALLY get their visas. If so, we are flying out the night of the 23rd, overnighting in Miami, and arriving home on Christmas eve at about noon to Lexington. (I then have to go to work Christmas eve night. Total bummer. But, thankful I can provide a wonderful home and food for these kiddos.) John will just have to do the first bath and bedtime solo!! I guess the husband of a future midwife has to get used to that. So, the first real full day the boys have in Lexington will be Christmas day...which of course is insanity. No telling what these poor children will think! Talk about some culture shock. (Not to mention pricey airline tickets! Zoiks!)

If the boys, for some reason, do not get Visas as scheduled, I will fly home to work my shift, and John will bring the boys after getting visas.

We are excited and nervous!!! Our lives are about to turn upside down! These past 6 years of trying to adopt have been an adventure. But, I guess the adventure is just beginning! It's exciting, but, it ain't over till it's over. I feel like I wont' believe it until we land in Lexington. I can't wait to hold those little guys in my arms. I will, in just 5 short days!

one step closer to visa

2009-12-16T13:45:00.001-08:00

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Ferguson Adkisson,

Please be informed that the I-600 petitions you filed at this office on behalf of Erickson and Love Kender Pierre Louis have been approved. Your case have been transferred to the Adoption Unit of the Consular Section for the visa process. This completes all action by this service on the petition. The Consular Section will soon contact you to follow up on your case.

Happy Holidays!

Regards,

USCIS Haiti

Meriah Carey has it right!

2009-12-02T18:09:00.000-08:00

"I don't want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need.
I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree.
I just want you for my own. More than you could ever know.
Make my wish come true. All I want for Christmas is you."

Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T17:58:00.000-08:00

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving....giving thanks that my boys are VERY close to coming home. I was sad that yet again, anyone under 35 qualifies for the kid table. So, it was John, Cyrus, me and Violet. I need to get these 2 boys home so we have a real kid table! That, and so Violet won't have to play with the dog. That, and so my boys can experience a FEAST!

BOTH BOYS HAVE PASSPORTS!!!!

2009-11-08T18:01:00.001-08:00

I haven't seen them with my eyeballs, but that's the word on the street!

2009-11-02T20:23:00.001-08:00

Missing Erickson and Lovekender. My thoughts are constantly drifting to them. I can't wait for them to play with Violet and I can't wait to hug them and hold them. It's been eleven months since we left them in Haiti. I didn't dream it would be this long before we would see them again. I hope they love their new home here. I just want to be on a plane, heading for Haiti.

You have GOT to be kidding me!!

2009-10-28T19:10:00.000-07:00

I found out today, that not only do the boys not have visa appointments, they DON'T even have passports yet. The reason.....HAITI RAN OUT OF PASSPORT BOOKS.

New shipment of passport books (supposedly) arrives today. Printing (supposedly) begins tomorrow and then Monday is ANOTHER holiday in Haiti and then MAYBE next week, they will have their passports.

Boys WILL NOT be home for Thanksgiving.

Immigration

2009-10-12T14:08:00.000-07:00

BOTH boys are now in immigration waiting for passports!

50% success

2009-09-30T15:39:00.000-07:00

Erickson should get his passport tomorrow or the next day! We are still waiting on Lovekender's name to be given to Immigration. (Hopefully within a week.) I hung the Haitian flag on our house today. Feeling like it is so close!

In Vain

2009-09-19T05:10:00.000-07:00

Why is it that I continue to google "Haiti" and expect a live video of the orphanage to suddenly appear? I wish I could see my boys. Longing for them.

Nesting

2009-09-11T05:46:00.000-07:00

Let's see....I've organized my tool drawer and labeled every box in the storage room. Maybe if I purge my file cabinet, THEN the boys will be ready to come home. After that, I might have to actually clean instead of just organize!

More waiting part Deux

2009-09-09T19:26:00.000-07:00

Evidently, the Haitian person who has to take "the list" of people ready for visas over to the US Embassy is on vacation out of the country. Once the "the list" gets to the US embassy, it's still another 6 weeks until we can go get the boys. By Halloween?

I've got the cutest little outfits for the boys to wear when we meet the birth parents! I just want to hold them for days on end and not let go!

More waiting

2009-08-27T17:30:00.000-07:00

Evidently, the Haitian government need another copy of our driver's licenses before they can send our stuff over to the US Embassy. They only have 8 lbs of paperwork on us already...including scans of our passports. Looks like this hold up will cost our boys another 4-6 weeks.

Benin

2009-08-20T18:20:00.000-07:00

The Portuguese first explored the coast of Benin in 1472 but did not begin trading there until 1553. During the 17th century the Dutch, English, French, and other Europeans also entered the trade. The principal export before the mid-19th century was always slaves. The volume of slave exports was at first small, but it increased rapidly in the second half of the 17th century, when this area became known to Europeans as the “Slave Coast,” and remained high until the 1840s. The principal centre for the trade was the coastal kingdom of Ouidah (Whydah), which was originally a tributary of Allada but had become an independent state by the 1680s. The slaves exported were predominantly war captives and were drawn from the entire area of modern Benin, including northern peoples such as the Bariba as well as communities near the coast. The Atlantic slave trade had a substantial and deleterious impact in Benin, causing the depopulation of certain areas as well as a general militarization of society. The prominence of slaves from this area in the transatlantic trade is reflected in the survival of elements of its culture in black communities of the New World, especially in the “voodoo” religion of Haiti, which incorporates many spirit cults and deities of the Ewe-speaking peoples.
http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/60879/Benin/55088/The-slave-trade

Little suits

2009-08-18T17:11:00.000-07:00

I'm getting really excited about my boys coming home! It's feeling real, now. Today, I bought them little suits for our meeting with their birth parents. Little vests, little clip on ties. So cute!!!
We also got more pictures of them today, and Erickson is actually smiling! It's getting so close!

Haitian Zanmi

2009-08-09T06:05:00.000-07:00

Last night, we had our Haitian Creole tutor, Rose over for dinner. Her 3 kids and another kid that is living with them came over. Her kids are Mackens, 15, Misla, 13, Jonathan, 10 and the friend, Fabrize, 12. As soon as we finished eating, Violet and Fabrize started running around the house. Misla joined in. They were laughing and screaming. It was so great!!! Violet took them to the back yard and they ran and ran. It was just wonderful to see. It assured me that when Erickson and Lovekender get here, they'll be playing in no time. Kids are kids, whether they speak the same language or not. It just made me feel sorry for Violet a little bit. She is soooo bored with me most of the time. She just wants to PLAY with other KIDS. She needs her brothers so badly!! I can't wait to see those three kidos running around my house!!! And, our Haitian-American friends promised to come over frequently and play! It will be reassuring for the boys to hear Creole and have fun with some older Haitian kids.

We're OUT!!!

2009-07-29T17:02:00.000-07:00

Stephanie phoned and said that the boys' file is out of MOI!!! Now, it's 4-6 weeks for Passports and Visa!! Should I start packing? It actually doesn't feel real. It won't be real until I see them in their beds asleep!

Stats on the (tiny) boys

2009-07-17T05:36:00.000-07:00

Lovekender: (age 2 1/2) Weight: 22 lbs. Height:29 Waist:21-1/2 Length:16 Shoes:5

Erickson: (age 5) Weight:29 Height:39-1/2 Waist:20 Length:21 Shoes:9

by comparison VIOLET: age 4 Wt: 36ish, Ht: 40.5 in, Waist: 20, Leg Length: 22 Shoes: 8-9

Missed by their sister

2009-07-16T16:24:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday, Violet and I were in the car on the way to swim lessons. Violet says, "Mommie, when are the boys coming home?" I said, "I don't know. It takes a long time doesn't it?" Then she said, "I wish they would just drop out of the sky and then we could catch-ted them."

Too sweet! I could really use some news soon!

Measles

2009-06-30T16:07:00.000-07:00

There is a measles outbreak at the Orphanage. Wondering if my little guys are sick and thinking how miserable the sick children must be. No popsicles and TV and mom to rock them when they don't feel good.

It's an infant!!

2009-06-24T18:12:00.001-07:00

I found out today that Erickson and Lovekender have a younger sibling. WOW! If the parent's take it to the orphanage, Marie and Stephanie will let us know as soon as possible.

Good Night

2009-06-20T18:51:00.000-07:00

Good Night Erickson, Good Night Lovekender, Mwen Renmen ou mon petit cheri!
Can't wait to hug your necks and rock you to sleep. Bon Nuit!

Minister of Justice

2009-06-13T10:55:00.000-07:00

Stephanie called today and let us know that Erickson and Lovekender's file is before the Minister of Justice awaiting a Certification of the Adoption Decree. This takes 4-6 weeks and then it takes 4-6 weeks for passports and visas. So...at Least 2 more months, if not longer. September?

Good news

2009-05-14T10:09:00.000-07:00

I talked to Stephanie today. She just got back from a trip to Haiti. She said that Lovekender putters around like an old man and is a "hoot." She said Erickson was very happy and doing much better than when she was there in August. She said that she only witnessed a couple of meltdowns! Evidentally, Erickson carries around the little photo album I made for him. She said he carries it around like a security blanket and knows who we are in the pictures!!!

She said our file in MOI is just hanging out waiting to be signed. That office is only open on Thursdays and Fridays. Once the boys are out of MOI, they will be moved to Port au Prince to await Visas. Then, we can go pick them up!!! No telling how much longer our file will wait in MOI, and then it's about a month after that.

It's all I can do not to sign these boys up for the July swim lessons. But....I don't want to get crazy, now! I'll just wait.

Milkshake

2009-04-30T19:40:00.000-07:00

On my mix, there is the song "Milkshake." The chorus goes something like, "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and something somethin' is better than your and something something is better than yours.....the boys are waiting."
We've heard this song dozens of times and Violet loves it. But, for the first time today she announced, "She said,'The boys are waiting'!!!". She was very excited about this. Then I realized, she thinks the artist is talking about Violet's brother's waiting in Haiti!!
So now, I think I might have a theme song to our long...long...long adoption! "The boys are waiting!"

Brothers

2009-04-30T19:35:00.000-07:00

Dear Erickson and Lovekender,

I love you so much. Your room is ready! I've been sleeping in there because your daddy has been snoring. I can't wait for you to be sleeping in there! You are going to love it here. Food, fun, kisses and hugs. I miss you so much. Don't get too big! Hopefully we'll see you in a couple of months! Your sister can't wait. Or as she says, "I don't wait for the brothers to come home."

Love you,
Mommie

that's sooo Haiti

2009-04-18T17:50:00.000-07:00

Our Latest update from Stephanie:

"I wanted to send a group update and let you all know that communication with Haiti has been difficult at best this last week. I know several of you are waiting for information on referrals, details/updates on your case, status of your kids, etc. Please know that Digicell (our main source of communication with all three orphanages we work with) has been struggling with their service this week. Because of this my only contact has been in 30 second spurts where I’m told “I can’t hear you” and then we get disconnected. Frustrating at best…especially for those wanting updates. Please know that I’ll continue efforts to contact our facilitators and I’m sure Digicell is continuing their efforts to improve their service J

In addition, please be praying for the country of Haiti this weekend and into next week. Starting yesterday the government is in a senate session where elections will take place, votes will be made, etc. Although there is no signs of immediate problems these sessions typically lead to some types of demonstrations and/or protests . All of that said, do not be surprised if there are offices closed next week. I’m not stating that will happen, but I am wanting to prepare you that it might.

Thank you all…each and every one. I hope that you find blessings in your weekend, and know that we continue to work towards bringing each of your children home. "

Friday's

2009-04-17T21:15:00.001-07:00

Another Friday with no word on the boys' files. I really need them to come home. This just got old.

the best Birthday gift

2009-03-24T14:46:00.000-07:00

I got this ray of hope in an email from Stephanie:

"Hi Kendra,

I just wanted to update you that Marie is seeing a lot of movement in MOI. Although we’ve not seen your files come out yet, she is seeing 4 or 5 a week (which is good, she had 25+ in there when you went in) So this last few weeks has been very positive. We only get MOI updates on Friday, but I’ll keep checking back until your guys are on their way!"

Could these boys be coming home soon?!!! I hope so!

antoher message

2009-03-10T18:04:00.000-07:00

This was posted on our yahoo group by an adoptive mom from Canada. She is French speaking. She is in Haiti visiting. Evidentially, files are getting reading to move out of MOI!!! Please let ours be among them. There has been no electricity.... she writes...

"I hope everyone keep their sanity, it is not easy on anyone. And add the fact
that their is almost no electricity , I 'm staying at a friend house and the
city asked the owner to rebuilt their walls 2 meters from the streets. They give
them 5 days!!! Many did not do it , more like almost nobody... So now , like 5-6
months later, the city send buldoser to broke the walls, it is desolation all in
the streets, walls broken everywhere, especially in Petionville and Delmas. The
problems is also that often the electricity cable are in those walls, so
imagine... "

Delmas is where our main orphanage in Port-au-Prince is. The obstacles they face in Haiti!

MOI purgatory

2009-02-28T18:15:00.000-08:00

The closer it gets, the longer the wait. I just checked the yahoo group and others have been in MOI for 6 months. Evidentially they are now requiring some paper that Marie has to go get in Archives?! Something about, she's waiting until she has them all to turn them all in at one time. Anyway, it's slowing MOI down by 2 or 3 months. This is the gossip I have heard. As tomorrow is March 1st, I'm a little down because I thought the boys might be home by March. Once they are out of MOI, it should be another month (at least) to get passport and visa. I think I can kiss March good-bye for pick-up. I'm suddenly seeing my visions of going to the pool this summer, gymnastics, birthday parties all kind of dwindle. It's disappointing.

the magic word...update

2009-02-25T19:31:00.000-08:00

Stephanie sent an email with details for the next Haiti group trip on April 4th. At the end of the email she wrote....
"Remember this week is Karnival, so there aren’t any reports or updates until perhaps the end of this week."

Oh, the coveted updates! Time is really dragging here at the end! Violet has been playing a new game where I pretend to be Erickson and she pretends to be Violet. She is so cute and sweet to him. Today, she was pretending to go to preschool and telling Erickson about how everyone will be his friend and how much fun he will have. Too cute!

sad update

2009-02-16T09:03:00.000-08:00

This was in an email from Stephanie today:

"A couple of weeks ago a very well respected and prominent adoption attorney was kidnapped in Port-au-Prince. It is told that he apparently recognized his kidnappers and with that was shot and killed. This man was a cousin of Marie's (the director of our boy's orphanage), and a pillar in the community. This has devastated the entire adoption community, and of course Marie’s entire family. Your prayers are appreciated. "

As I sit in my comfortable house, I'm reminded of and humbled by the sacrifices of those working to get Erickson and Lovekender out of Haiti. I'm speechless and sad.

When?

2009-02-04T09:09:00.000-08:00

I can't wait for these little guys to get here. Their room is almost ready. Just a few minor finishing touches. I need a lamp a bookcase and a bulletin board. I can't imagine what it will be like with 3 kids! Yikes. Plus, I'm really busy with school. All the same, I want them here. Violet needs her brothers. I want to feel their wooly hair on my cheek and pull them up in my lap and rock them. I want to take them to the doctor and get those nasty parasites out of their bodies. I want them to eat and grow and laugh and play and read and color and run and run and run. Hopefully they will be home in 6 weeks or so. I love you Erickson and Lovekender! We also need a minivan. Yowsers!

Adkisson Boys

2008-12-24T17:29:00.001-08:00

When we went to go file our I600 at the embassy, we discovered that our boys have the last name Adkisson. As I was the one that filled out all the paperwork as the petitioner, they have my last name. I don't think I would have chosen that, but I was really excited none the less! John said, "If I have to change my name to Adkisson, I will. Those boys aren't staying in Haiti any longer than they have to." So, we've got a Lovekender Pierre-Louis Adkisson and an Erickson Pierre-Louis Adkisson. Whew! What names. We are adamant about keeping their names as that is all they have. All I have to say is that we elected a president named Barak Hussein Obama. Now, I guarantee that if we adopted a little boy from Haiti named Barak Hussein Obama, people would say, "Oh, what a name, he's going to get beat up in middle school." Well look at Obama now! His name didn't stop him. Lovekender and Erickson will be just fine with the names their birth parents gave them! And maybe they'll get in a few fights....and that's OK. They live in an orphanage with 80 other kids, I think they can handle it!

Our 2nd Trip to Haiti

2008-12-20T03:06:00.000-08:00

12-12-08 Even though Haiti is only an hour an a half flight to Miami, there is just no good way to get down there. It's a long haul broken up into two days. Once we got to Port-au-Prince, we waited about 2 and a half hours for a van to pick us up. We made a pit stop at Marie's to pick up two babies meeting their families for the first time. At 3:00, we started the long trek to Les Cayes. This is not a fun trip. It's windy, bumpy, dusty roads. We were cramped in with suitcases and luggage and Violet was in my lap. About 4 hours later, we finally reached the orphanage! Violet did an awesome job in the van and on the flights. The kids were in their pajamas and greeting us with a song. Erickson recognized us, but didn't know what to do. We held his hand and he tried not to smile. Finally, John put him on a bike and started doing pop-a-wheelies. THEN we got a smile and some giggles! John held Lovekender. He did just fine this time! No crying! We loaded the boys back up in the van with everyone else's kids too. We headed for the hotel. I gave Erickson and Lovekender a car each. They couldn't have been happier! John slept with Violet and Erickson and I slept with Love.
12-13-08
We went downstairs for breakfast. Lovekender will eat anything in sight. (except avacado and tomato). He eats adult size portions and then wants more. Lovekender has to have 2 pieces of food in his hands at all times. He won't eat it, he just needs it there for safekeeping. Heaven forbid I give myself a bite! Lovekender wants it all! We hung out at the hotel and went swimming with Lisa, Morelson, Julie, Tom, Lise and Evans. Erickson and Lovekender love swimming. Lovekender LOVES his sunglasses. The kids played with their toys by the pool for awhile and wore their matching Obama shirts! Then we loaded up and went to the orphanage. Erickson had a minor meltdown before this. I think he was mad that Morelson was playing with his truck. At the orphange, we just hung out until the Christmas party. Violet tried to stay away from all the girls that wanted to play with her hair. Erickson tried to protect his car from the other kids. Lovekender just wanted to be held. The orphanage at Cayes is SO MUCH better than the one in Port-au-Prince. It was so nice to see the kids run and play and breathe fresh air. Later that evening, it was time for the party. Some of the older kids sang songs and did dances. One of the dances was hilarious. They did some very provocative moves. I have that on video tape. Way to go Lyse and Evans! We had some food...goat was served. I passed on that. Then, we passed out Christmas gifts for the kids. We were swarmed and a lot of kids ended up crying, so I'm not so sure how well that went.
When it was all over, we loaded back up and went to the hotel. That night, we were up until about 2 am with Violet. She had an earache. I felt so sorry for her I cried. I just kept trying to comfort her, but she was in so much pain. She finally went to sleep. Then, Love was up at 6:15 ready to go.
12-14-08
I took Love and Erickson downstairs and let John and Violet sleep until 10:15. We had breakfast. Again, feeding Lovekender everything in sight. I let E and L open their remote control cars. The loved them. Later, Erickson threw himself another good-ol' fashioned fit because Morelson was playing with his car. We've got to work on the sharing concept. Johna nd Violet came down and had breakfast. Then we headed to the beach. (I should mention that anytime we go from one place to another, there is at LEAST an hour of waiting, wondering what is going on. I don't want to give the impression that everything runs very smoothly....it doesn't!) On the way to the beach, we had to stop twice because birthparents of kids in the van were standing on the side of the road. Lisa met Morelson's Mom, Grandmother/godmother and brother. Julie and Tom met Lise's relatives and Mom. It was VERY weird that these folks were dressed in their Sunday best waiting for us on the side of the road.
We finally made it to the beach. I'm assuming this is the first time for all of my kids. By the way, Erickson LOVES riding in a car. He talks and chants the whole time. At first, Erickson was scared of the waves. Thank goodness for my Creyole lessons. I was able to talk to him about this. Later, I took Violet and Lovekender out in the ocean with me. They both loved it. Lovekender didn't like to get his hands and feet dirty in the sand! Love started playing in the sand. Then, he just stood up and walked straight towards the ocean and kind of dove, face first towards some waves. Keep in mind, he is two, but looks one. He's just this little squirt of a guy. He didn't cry of anything. John took him out and he LOVED the ocean. Then, Erickson started thinking that he knew how to swim. When I held him, he just kind of dove toward John. He's going to be quite the swimmer once we get him home and explain about the whole holding your breath thing. Violet loved the ocean too. All three kids started working on a sand pile. That's the first time I've seen them all play together. It was very sweet!
After out swim, I put them in their matching Hawaiian outfits that mom got them. We waited some more and then drove to a restaurant on the beach. Marie was there too. Marie always wants to talk to Violet, and Violet gets all shy. Marie says, "Don't shy, Vio (Vee-0h)." Stephanie pulled me aside and told me that the boys are out of parquet. This was huge news. Our file is moving very fast. She said the boys could be home as early as March. Keep in mind, they could also hit a stumbling block and be held up for months. However, the way that it is going now, they are on track to be home in a few months. Very exciting and overwhelming news!
The dinner choices at the restaurant were conch or fish. Lovekender and Erickson dug in. John got the conch. I just had some fried plantains. It was good. We had a few beers and good conversation with the other waiting couples. It was so good to make friendships with the other adopting parents! We headed back to the hotel. Lovekender and Erickson go a quick shower to get the sand off. Lovekender's scabies were really itching him. I got him to sleep by combing his skin and hair with a little baby comb. Tonight, I was up with Lovekender. He had a bad cough. If I held him upright, he didn't cough. So, finally, I arranged some pillows so I could sleep at an angle with Lovekender on top of me. Sweet thing!
12-15-08
Lovekender was up around 6:15 again. I always awaken to a large poopie diaper! I guess I'm going to have to learn how to potty train a boy. We thought we were suppose to check out at 9:00AM, but plans changed. So, we ended up hanging out in the lobby for hours. I took the boys over to some trees and we looked for lizards. Lovekender was very good at spotting them. He'd stick out his little bitty finger and point and coo. He is so sweet you want to eat him up! Erickson meanwhile, was throwing another daily fit that I'm sure was related to his car! We loaded the van and took a quick scenic look at the beach that was right outside the wall of our hotel. We had no idea! That whole time we were a few yards from a beach. Oh, well.
At the orphanage, we played with the kids for about an hour and 20 minutes and then said good-bye. Lovekender went back into the baby room. All the mom's of babies were in there crying. Even the nannies were teared up. Lovekender was crying as I waved good-bye. Then, out in the gravel, Erickson realized we were going and started screaming crying. We hugged him and got in the van. As we left, I saw him spread-eagle on the pavement crying.
The good-bye wasn't very hard for me. I think it's because I try to control everything in my life and this is one thing that I have ABSOLUTELY no control over. There is nothing I can do to make it better or move faster. The orphanage is clean and nice. The boys are taken care of. They have food. And, they'll be home soon. I'm at peace with that. I'm sure Erickson was sad for awhile (a couple of hours), and then he started playing again. His cars are probably broken now, but at least he had fun with them for awhile. Lovekender is fine as long as he has food.
We pulled out of the orphanage with all the crying parents, John included. We went to a restaurant and had some good eats. Then we hit the road for PAP. It took another 4 hours. We sang LOTS of Christmas songs. Violet was NOT a fan of the 12 days of Christmas! "IT's too long." We went to Marie's for some dinner and she had Christmas gifts for us. Then, we went to the Visa Lodge. It was a cute little room. Violet put on a couple of shows for us, which we also have on tape.
12-16-08
I woke up at about 6:15. I guess out of habit now. I grabbed my notes and went to study by the pool. Later, I woke up John and Violet. We all had egg and cheese (and HAM) omletes. It's pretty much impossible to be vegetarian. Ham comes on everything....even spaghetti. At this point, we remembered that it was our eighth anniversary! We packed up, checked out and headed to Marie's. We were there for quite some time. Not really sure why. There were lots of families there dropping off kids at the orphanage. Then, we headed to the embassy. We signed our 1-600's. The boys are leagally ours, whatever that means. We had to take an oath that we would take care of them. Also, the boys' last name is ADKISSON. Because I was the one that filled out the paperwork and listed John as the spouce, they have my last name. That was pretty funny. John said, "If I have to change my name to Adkisson, I will. Those boys aren't staying in Haiti any longer than they have to."
We left the embassy and had lunch at a nice outdoor restaurant. Then, we headed to the airport. We flew into Miami and then to Chicago. The Chicago flight was delayed. We got to our hotel around2:30. We slept for about 4 hours and then woke up to catch our flight to Louisville.
12-17-08
Mom and Cyrus picked us up in Louisville. Violet ran to them. It was so cute. Mom had all kinds of good eats for us in the car. She is so wonderfully fabulous. We were exhausted. When we got home, I called my study group and they came over. Final exam the next day. No pressure! That was our trip!

8 days!

2008-12-04T19:05:00.000-08:00

I'll see my boys in 8 days!!! I can hardly stand it! Last night, we had our last Creyole lesson before we leave. I'm doing all right. I made a little booklet to help me. I can't wait to carry on a conversation with Erickson. I wonder if it will make a big difference? I can't wait to play Simon Di and to pretann to be Ton Ton Noel and ouvri kado! Yeah. Oh my gosh! I'm so caught up in nursing school and finals, etc. , I hardly take a moment and get totally excited. Well, I am right now!!!! I'm pretty much ready. One last Target run should do me. This time, I'm packing gifts for Violet. I forgot to last time. Ooops.

4 1/2!!

2008-11-26T19:18:00.000-08:00

Erickson is 4 and 1/2 years old today!!! I can't believe six months have gone by since we saw him! I wonder if he's grown. I wonder if he'll remember us. I wonder if he'll run right to us or be shy for awhile. I've finished my toy shopping for Haiti Dec. trip. I got the boys some remote control cars. I think they'll love them! I can't wait to give them to them. We leave in 2 weeks. Dang, I've got a lot of studying to do between now and then!

Baldy

2008-11-14T15:40:00.000-08:00

Less than a month until I see my boys! We have some new pictures of Erickson. I hardly recognized him because he got a hair cut/shave! I had to have John come in and confirm that that was really Erickson. No pictures of Lovekender. He must be hiding somewhere in that orphanage.

I've been working on my Creyole. Tomorrow night, we go to a fundraiser for Ten Kids, a new non-profit organization to help kids in Haiti.

I bought the boys a few small things for Christmas. I'm so excited to see them again and to interact more this time. I want to talk to Erickson and see if I can have a little tiny conversation with him.

I can't wait to get them home! Nursing school is keeping me busy and distracted. I'll really miss them this Christmas. It'd be so much more fun with them!

President Obama!!!

2008-11-05T03:56:00.000-08:00

Boys, I am so excited for you! You are coming home to President Barak Obama. You are coming to a country where the people can make a difference. Your new home will be full of love and hope for a brighter future. The first few years of your lives have been incredibly hard. For two young kidos, you have been through more emotionally than some ever experience in a life time. I hope that you love it here and that your days are full of happiness and new opportunities. I hope that you always love your native Haiti and work to make Haiti a better place for her people to live. Most of all, I want you to be able to do whatever you want, to follow your dreams. I'm going to do the best I can to ensure your success and happiness.
I love you and miss you so much. As this process drags on, I keep in mind that you will come home at just the right time and that everything will work out smoothly. As of today, I'm not sure if you will get an IR3 Visa. This would ensure that you are US citizens when our plane lands in Florida. Right now, it's looking like you all could end up with IR4 visas. That would mean we would have to file more paperwork when you got home in order to make you citizens. Anyway, it is out of my control....Let's just hope your dossier gets out of IBESR within the next 30 days!!!! That is so important! Your file has been in IBESR 4 months as of today!

I can't wait to tuck you in your beds at night!
Love you,
Mommie

email from Stephanie

2008-10-30T06:45:00.000-07:00

Hi Kendra,

I think Erickson more then Lovekender is suffering from a bit of a broken heart. He reminds me of my son, who was diagnosed “failure to thrive”. Once home he did fine, although I still see where he is very sensitive, and he gets overwhelmed in large groups (not that anyone would notice or consider a “disorder”) Josh had a brother who was 4 at the orphanage and every picture I have of Jon he seems to be crying. He had moments of fun interaction, but he was definitely a sad little boy. He sorely missed his poppee. Once home he also did very well. They were both boys that needed a relationship with a parent. I hope and predict that Erickson will be a very different little boy once he is home. I’m glad that by the time we go in December you’ll be so much further into the adoption process (lets hope you’re out of IBESR and on your way!) I think Lovekender is also sensitive, but he doesn’t seem as sad and withdrawn as Erickson. He just seems to be a toddler unsure of strange white people. J I would read up on attachment and bonding to make sure you are taking deliberate steps with them both when they come home. Better to assume there is loss and grief to overcome then to not and miss something—however small it may seem.

I talked with Marie today and she said they are both doing better. You were right, she was under the impression you paid up through September because you wanted care through that time. I asked her if she thinks they need their own nanny and she said no, that they are doing better. We’ll want to ask the staff in December if what we see when we’re there is what they see when we’re not there.

Haiti Journal

2008-10-26T20:59:00.001-07:00

Haiti Journal

Day One: May 25, 2008 (Sunday)

We woke up at 4:30 AM in Ft. Lauderdale, FL to go to the airport. We hung out there for a couple of hours, very pleased to check our 300lbs of luggage. We boarded an airbus for Port-au-Prince Haiti. Violet still wasn't feeling well. I continued to give her Tylenol every 4 hours.

When we landed in Haiti, we clapped. Violet was so excited. I had her in the ergo carrier and I went down the steps from the plane to the airport. Violet was singing, “Welcome to Haiti” to the tune of “Let's go to the Movies” from the Annie movie. A group of drummers greeted us. It was overcast, but you could see the mountains all around the city. It was beautiful. I ducked into the bathroom quickly (Violet still in the Ergo). She said, “Are my brother's here? Is this the orphanage?” I said, “No, this is the airport.” Then she asked, “Is this Haiti?” I said, “Yes, this is Haiti. But, we'll see your brothers later.”

So, we proceeded through customs. We had a man help us with our 6 bags of luggage. Then, as instructed, we went out side to find “Mr. Big.” So, named because he is the biggest man you will see in Haiti. Sure enough, we walk out the doors and a very large Haitian says, “OK, come here.” We obediently followed him. He immediately called Vineil, the manager of the guest house, and instructed him to come and get us. We waited and watched. About 10 minutes later, Mr. Big's phone rang. “OK,” he says. And again, we follow him. Veniel is in a white van with his 21/2 year old daughter, Venaika. Violet asks, “Is she my friend?” They sit together holding hands in the van. Too Cute! Veniel is very handsome. He drives us for a about 5 minutes to the guest house, Wall's. He honks loudly at the gate and two armed guards open it. We pull in. Wall's is surrounded by concrete walls topped with Razor wire.

While we were waiting for our rooms on the patio, I met Isabelle, another adopting mom from Canada. Then I here SPLASH! I ran up the 2 steps the the walled in pool area and Violet was just there under the water in the deep in. I reached in a grabbed her. She's sobbing and we are both soaking wet. That was very scary and totally embarrassing! I felt like such a bad mom in front of all the other guests. Violet was OK, just scarred. Later that night, she said, “That was fun! I was swimming!”

We checked into our room and then waited to go meet the boys. Finally, we went over to the orphanage, Petit Angels de Chantal, or PAC 1. We met Marie the director. She and the nannies were getting the place ready for our Mother's Day party...as it was Mother's Day in Haiti. The kids from PAC 1 were running around all over Marie's house and we couldn't wait to see our guys. Our boys live in PAC 2 and they were to be arriving soon. Violet wasn't feeling good. She had a fever. John and I kept debating on going back to the guest house to get her Tylenol, because we didn't want to miss the boys' arrival. John finally went and got the medicine really quickly and made it in time.

Finally, some new kids start running around the corner. I thought I recognized Erickson, but I wasn't 100% positive because his nose and eyes are very swollen. He had quite an infection...goop coming out of his
eyes. His face is broken out with little bumps everywhere. He walked passed me and I said John, “I think that's Erickson,” while pointing to him. But, I wanted to see other kids to make sure. I was also looking for Lovekender. I went around the corner and saw that the kids had arrived in a white pick-up truck with tiny colorful chairs in the back of it!! Someone, I don't know who, was holding a tiny Lovekender! I went to her/him and got to hold Lovekender for the first time!!! I carried him over the where John was trying to talk to Erickson. Poor Erickson wouldn't even look at us. We have no idea what he was told or if he knew who the heck we were. It was very sad. We said to him, “Sa se fre ou?” Is this your brother? Pointing to Lovekender. He would nod his head yes. Finally, I just picked him up. He put his head down on my shoulder. Poor thing.

Then, Marie put some eye medicine in his eyes. Then, he let John hold him. He just put his head down on John.
We ate dinner. Violet wouldn't eat anything, Erickson ate some. I couldn't get Lovekender to eat. Finally a nanny took him and just started shoveling food in. Oops. I didn't know thats how I was suppose to do it! He ate a whole big plate of food.

Meanwhile, Erickson was hot and sweating bullets. His face had a rash on it and his right eye was very swollen. I was VERY worried about him. He was like a little rag doll and fell asleep in my arms. Marie had one of the nannies put him to bed. I was a bit disappointed. I wanted to hold him while he slept.

Lovekender is too cute, and did I mention TINY! John got to hold him and eventually made him laugh. Violet wasn't feeling well and all the kids at the orphanage wanted to pull on her hair because it is so different from theirs.

We took all the kids back to our guest house. We gave Erickson a ball and he was so excited, smiling and laughing. He's so handsome with that smile! Just a precious spirit! It was an unbelievable change from just an hour ago. I gave Lovekender a bath in the sink. I wish we had a picture, but no spare hands were to be had. Erickson and Violet played on the little balcony. Then, I gave Erickson a shower. I'm pretty sure it was his first. He was fascinated with the running water. I put him in a new outfit and gave him his sunglasses and backpack. He was a happy camper.

We only had him for about an hour and then we took them back to PAC 1. We debated whether or not to keep them in our room. But, our agency advised taking them back to the orphanage at night so they have some sense of normalcy. However, they were not sent back to PAC 2, where they live, they had to stay at PAC 1. So, I don't know what was best. Either way, we got them out of their routine.

What a day!!! I met my sons.

DAY 2: MAY 26, 2008

We spent from 9 - 7 with them today at the guest house. Lovekender is was very lethargic today. Erickson's eyes still oozing. Lovekender tries not to smile.
He actually bites his lip or purses them so as not to smile...the little stinker! Marie is taking them both to the doctor tomorrow. She said that they came to the orphanage very malnurished. She said it will take about 3 months for them to get better. Their little bellies are very distended. Tomorrow, we will see them
after the doctor's appointment.

We took the kids to the mountains today. We had no idea that it was an hour drive on bumpy curvy roads in the back of an un-airconditioned van. No telling what the boys were thinking. "Who are these white people and where are they taking us.?" Veniel was taking us to a restaurant. But, when we FINALLY got up the mountain, the restaurant was closed. John bought the kids some hats from a vender and then we went back down the mountain. The kids were sleeping in the back of the van. Lovekender was sticking to me with sweat. When we got to the restaurant, Lovekender had a blowout. I had to change his diaper (diarreah) on the floor of a bathroom with no light. Then when I went to wash my hands, there was no soap. I had poop on my skirt and on his clothes. It was awful. Poor little guy was sick.

We spent the rest of the day with them at Wall's.

DAY 3: MAY 27^th, 2008

So far, my favorite quote from John is, "Three kids is more than one kid." I'm not even sure that it is grammatically correct, but I think I need it
on a t-shirt!
Today Lovekender had an opinion about things. He wasn't happy most of the time, but that was great! Yesterday, he was a ragdoll and I thought
he was sick. In hindsight, I think he was just completely shut down emotionally. Today, he actually walked toward the toy cars and played with
them awhile. I didn't even know if he could walk. He cries if Violet gets within 2 feet of him. Meanwhile, Violet continues to want to be close to him,
pet him, mother him. It's very sweet, but I have to keep her away from him. He's not a fan! I keep calling him, "Lovey," which of course will not
fly in middle school, but I can't resist these few days! Dad, I've made a conscious effort to call him "Butch" a few times :) I finally figured out how to
feed him....just shove it in his mouth. He won't reach for the food, he just whines. I realized that that means, "shove it down my throat rather aggressively
like my nannies do."

Erickson came to us today with open sores on his face. His eyes look much better. John continued to put the drops in his eyes today. His faced
looked better by dinner time. Erix was awesome at dinner. He ate 3 chicken legs and then cracked off the top, ate that and then sucked the marrow.
Now that is how you eat some chicken! Erix was giddy when I took him swimming today. It was me in the pool with three kids. (John smashed open
his toe and that's a whole other story). Lovekender aka Lovey/Butch also loved the pool. He stopped crying for about 30 minutes and made the most
beautiful cooing/talking sounds. He even splashed a bit. Compared to yesterday, that is monumental!

Word on the street is that it's going to take 2 years to get these guys home. I'm still hoping for sooner, but prepared for the long haul.

Violet is the best kid ever. She is such a trooper!! What an awesome kid. John is amazing. I just can't thank him enough everyday! He's constantly
speaking Creole and working with Erickson. Today, Erickson was testing boundaries a bit to see what we were all about. John handled all of that
fantastically. We are doing great and taking it day by day!

Violet and Erickson are thick as Thieves. Lovekender does not like Violet so much. Violet loves to love on Lovekender. How many times can you get love in a sentence?

We are staying at a great Guest house. We feel so safe and secure. We love the manager, Veniel. And there are other wonderful people here adopting, starting water projects,
etc. What an adventure! Boy Howdy!!

DAY 4: MAY

I'm figuring out Lovekender. He doesn't want me to put him down, and he doesn't want to go to John. Today, I learned that he loves his sunglasses
and hat. He gets almost a smile...like he knows he looks good. However, most of the time, "Nothing will do." I'm just glad I figured out how to feed him.

Erickson is starting to figure out that we pick him up everyday and drop him off after dinner. Today, he started to shut down again before dinner time. I suppose
in anticipation of going back to the orphanage tonight. We talked with the director of the orphanage. She said that she would explain things to him on the last
day. He probably has no clue what is going on. He tested John today and John was awesome. Setting boundaries, but still telling him that we love him. Erix
also cried a pretty good cry today. We were happy about that. Some kids that go through this just stuff it all in. We were glad to see him show his feelings.
It's just so hard because we don't speak Creole. We have an adoptive parents phrase book that we use, but it definitely doesn't suffice for our lack of language!

Violet is also testing us. She cries and wants me to hold her while I have Lovey. She's actually doing awesome, considering. But, she is learning to share
mom and dad. She knows she can get away with more if John and I both have one of the boys.

Haiti is really sad. This whole thing is just very complicated. But, the happy thing is that these boys will get home to us someday. Erickson cried when we
dropped him off at the orphanage today. He is VERY attached to John. Poor little thing. They went to the doctor today. They got antibiotics, eye drops, a special
soap and a special milk for malnutrition. (To be mixed with sugar and oil?) When in Rome.....

This is VERY exhausting. Violet just threw up twice last night and was the fine today. THANK GOD! Last night, I was pretty darn worried that she might be doing this for the next few days.

It's hard having all three kids from 9 until 6. It's not like having them at your house. You can't relax like you can at your own home. We are at a guest house. I don't want Violet naked, kids crying, or them going into other people's rooms. And then there is the pool that Violet fell in not 30 minuets after we got here on the first day. I pulled her right out...but it wasn't a great way to start the trip!
GOOD GOD! So, John and I just herd cats all day. There are balconies, ladders to roofs, etc. Being at home with them will be infinitely better. Our fenced in back yard is just perfect. Just give them plastic swords and say, "GO For it." Also, it's hard to try and keep their snacks separate. I don't want Vi in
the boys stuff or water bottles. The boys have parasites and bacteria. My brain has room for no other thoughts when I'm with the kids.

Day 5, May 30^th, 2008

Well, I think I officially think I'm attached to these kids, Leaving them today was hard. I cried today as soon as we walked out the gate of the orphanage. Wept is more like it. Erickson had another melt down today, but, he is happy most of the day. He loved the pool again today. He loves to put his head in it. I think we were a little over zealous with the sunscreen. All of the Haitians were probably laughing at us. Plus, they
think that it is too cold to go swimming. They probably think we are bad parents.
Lovekender still tries to avoid eye contact. That is hard. However, I did make him laugh today by tossing him up in the air a bit. That lasted all of 5 seconds....but it was a great (and reassuring) 5 seconds. He's in there somewhere.
Erickson gets very sad at dinner time. He knows he's going back to the orphanage. Today, I showed him a picture of our house and said that he was going to live with us ( in Creole). I'm not sure any one has told him that
yet. I just held him for a long time and he put his head down on my shoulder. I just keep telling him I love him, "Mwen renmen ou. Mwen renmen ou." and my son, "petit garcon." He'll just kind of whimper. I wish I knew what was going on in those little heads. I can't imagine. Tough day. I fell in love.

DAY 6: May 31^st, 2008

Erickson still had his meltdown this morning. After about 30 minutes of crying, he fell asleep. Then, the rest of the day, he was pretty giddy.
I think he is just so overwhelmed, he doesn't know what to do with himself. He is in love with John . He doesn't want to share John with Violet.
And Lovey doesn't want to share me with Violet. Poor Violet. Erickson kissed John lots of times today on his own volition. It was just so sweet. Then, after John took him to the bathroom, he came running back into me and said, "Mommie!" He jumped into my arms and gave me a kiss! It was really incredible. Especially since I haven't been telling him I'm Mommie. I'm just calling myself mama Kendra.

Then, little mister short stuff, Lovekender, made his debut today! He cooed and was content most of the day. This is HUGE. He pointed to things and
"talked" about them. He stood up and played with a car briefly. Then, this afternoon in the play room, he wanted to sit and be pushed on this little
radio flyer. It doesn't seem like anything....BUT IT WAS HUGE! It was totally different from the floppy baby I've been holding all week. What a change!
He also let John hold him which is unheard of as well. Lovekender is just the most beautiful baby in the world. I can't quit examining him. He is
scrumptious!

Violet drew a butterfly on the magnadoodle. When new people come to the guest house, she says, "these are my bwuvers!" In the morning, she is
excited about going and getting them. I'm relieved. She could easily be saying, "I don't want them to be my brothers." I'm glad she likes them despite
the daily crying fits and demands on mom and dad's attention.

Tomorrow is our last day with the boys. Sigh.

Violet is asking for a massage now. I'm off to have girl time.

Hurricanes

2008-09-18T04:18:00.000-07:00

Haiti has been pounded by hurricanes this season. First Gustav, then Hanna, then Ike. There has been widespread devastation: flooding, strong winds, people stranded without food, and hundreds dead.
Stephanie, our adoption facilitator, went to Haiti with a group of parents on Aug. 16th. They traveled down to Les Cayes to see your new orphanage. It is so much better than the one you boys are in now in Port-au-Prince.
Stephanie said that you are OK from the Hurricanes. She talks to Marie 1 or 2 times a day. She said that Erickson, you were really sad that John and I weren't there. She said you were clingy and wanted to be held all the time. We sent a bulldozer toy for you and Stephanie said you carried it around all week. Little Lovekender, evidentially, you were content and happy just watching what was going on. Your nanny dressed you in the tie-died shirt I sent. I can't wait to see the pictures!
John and I are suppose to go down there in early December to see you and file some papers!!! I have my nursing school final exam, but I'm trying to work it out so I can come. If not, John will go see you by himself. Stephanie said that after we file that i600 form, we will be on the right track to POSSIBLY have you home by June. Oh, I can only hope!!!
Violet pretends that you guys are here everyday. She pretends that the little boo-boo bear we keep in the freezer is Lovekender. She wants me to be Erickson, or she'll have a doll be Erickson. She can't wait to have playmates and brothers!!
We are taking Creyole lessons from a lady named Rose. We're not very good, but, we're hanging in there.
I love you boys and can't wait to tuck you into bed here in your room.

Missing

2008-08-08T18:54:00.000-07:00

Dear Boys,

I miss you. But not like the regular missing somebody. It's more like, "where are my kids? They're missing." It really is an empty feeling.
I think about you all the time. Violet pretends that you are here constantly. I watched the video of our trip to Haiti. Erickson's laugh may be my FAVORITE thing in the whole world. Oh, it's just fantastic. Lovekender is too cute, and double trouble. He made such improvements while we are in Haiti. I hope you are doing well and that your nanny is taking good care of you. Your orphanage is moving to Les Cayes Haiti sometime soon. I hope you do OK with the move. I can't wait to see you again. I can't wait to bring you home! I want two more kids running around my backyard! LAUGHING!!! Stephanie, our adoption facilitator is going to Haiti in two weeks. I can't wait to get pictures of you. Know that we are thinking of you and loving you tons everyday!!!

Missing you,
Mommie

OUR LONG, TWISTED ADOPTION JOURNEY

2008-07-25T22:10:00.000-07:00

THE ORIGINAL PLAN

Before John and I even married, we have wanted to adopt. In, 2003, (oh that seems forever ago), I started researching adoption and sending off for all those glossy pamphlets with pitiful pictures of children from all over the world. John and I decided that we wanted to do a domestic adoption and to go through Catholic Social Services here in Lexington, KY. We met with our social workers, Laurie and Nelda in Jan. of 2004 and then began the adoption classes that spring. The day that we finished our last class, I went to Casa de Nacimiento, a birth center in Texas to do a midwifery internship for a month. While there, I bought a little outfit for our baby to be. I was so excited. When I returned, we finished our paper work and our scrapbook. The scrapbook was the story of our lives, pictures of our home and family. This is how the birth mother would choose our family. We turned in our scrapbook and waited. I felt that we would get chosen quickly as we were open to a newborn of any color and with any medical condition. We had our home study on September 9th, I believe. Now we were officially ready for a baby. I had a baby shower in Owensboro. I remember being SOOO excited about the shower. I came home and had the nursery all ready. It was painted and everything! I was ready for a baby!!
On October 9th, I checked in with Laurie or Nelda just to see if anyone had looked at our scrapbook. Later that day, I was on the phone to my friend Anne. I said something to her like, "blah blah blah, PERIOD." (You know how you do when you want to emphasize something. That's how that is going to be. PERIOD.) Then I said, "speaking of periods, I haven't had mine in a while." Then, when I figured it out, I thought, "oh no. there is no way. What if I'm pregnant." That night, John was DJing a radio show for WRFL. On the way to the station, I bought a pregnancy test. I took it at UK and came in and waved it to him while he was on the air. He gave me a big smile and a thumbs up. He then played some pregnancy related music like the Beach Boys, "When a man needs a woman."
I was in a state of shock! My adoption plans!!! I thought I might have a baby by Christmas. And, I didn't think I'd have to push it out or be pregnant for that matter! We wanted to help kids who needed a home, not create more kids to consume more stuff in America. I figured that I was about 5 weeks pregnant and would be do in June. When we got home from the radio station, I called Laurie and Nelda and left a pitiful message on their phone. I was crying and I said I was pregnant and I was so sorry, etc. etc. etc. I also called my parents and grandparents.

A BIRTH

On May 23rd, 2005, I gave birth to my daughter, Violet Estelle, on the back deck in a birthing pool. It was incredible! And, I guess that is the topic of a whole other blog. It was always my intention to adopt another baby. And soon. I wanted to be able to breastfeed an adopted baby while I still had my milk supply from Violet. I knew that when Violet was a year old, we could start the adoption process again. That was my plan and I let Nelda know. It was at this time, that she told me that when I got pregnant, a birthmom with African American twin boys had already selected us. She had been so disappointed when she found out that we were pregnant. Nelda said that she had really fallen in love with us from our scrapbook. It was such a weird feeling to know that there were two boys somewhere in Lexington that could be my sons right now! How our lives changed when we had Violet! What is it, "God laughs when we make plans!"

A DEATH

My plans changed again. In October of 2005, we found out that John's 49 year old mother had colon cancer. She was single and lived in Florida. In June of 2006, she moved in with us. Not long after she came, we called hospice and her mother and aunt moved in with us as well. It was a VERY stressful summer. There were 4 adults and a one year old living here. There was also always another family member or friend here for a short stay. It was very intense. John's mom died on August 1st, not 10 months after her diagnosis.

HEARTBREAK

After we cleared our house out and got our lives back to "normal," we called Laurie and Nelda again to update our file. We had to do another homestudy, as it had been a year since our last one. On October, 10th at 10 AM, we had our homestudy. We were ready and waiting to adopt again! It was in October, that John had a chance to play a few shows with the band, The Apples in Stereo. After those gigs, John was invited to go on tour with the Apples in Feb. After long discussions, John and I decided that we would adopt a baby if we were chosen by the end of the year. If not, we would put our adoption on hold AGAIN, until he got back from tour. As each day in December checked off the calendar, I felt more and more depressed. We weren't going to get a baby this year...who knows how long it would be!! Would I have milk? Etc, etc. etc.
Then, on December 6th, Laurie called and said a birthmom had chosen us!!!!! She was due any second!!! I flipped out and just started screaming. Oh, I was so excited!!!! The next few days were exciting. We met the birthmom and her long time boyfriend on a Monday. It was a boy!! I planned and prepared. I went back and forth between feeling ecstatic and feeling like I was going to puke!
Finally, on December 15th, we got the call that she was in labor. I called my parents to come and get Violet and I called John at work. John and I drove to the hospital an hour away and got there just in time for the birth. He was just beautiful. The nurses went to hand him to me and I pointed them towards the birthmom. She looked at him and then motioned for the nurses to let me hold him. He was just gorgeous! A fat juicy bottom lip! I began nursing him right away. He latched right on. We hung out with the birthmom and her boyfriend for about an hour, and then we got our own room.
We decided to name him D'Angelo, in honor of his birthmother. I stayed up all night with our little baby boy, D. He nursed like a champ. We took pictures, dressed him up and I just held him all night long. The next evening, a social worker from the adoption agency came in to tell us that the birthmom and her boyfriend changed their minds. I must say I was in shock. We really didn't think the birthmom would change her mind. Her situation seemed so dire, that we didn't even really entertain the idea that she would decide to parent. John and I went down to her room and talked to her and the boyfriend and said that we totally supported their decision and that we loved them. If they changed their minds again in the morning, we could be back in one hour!!!
So, that night, December 16th (our 6th anniversary), 24 hours after the birth, John and I made the LONG drive home to Lexington with an empty car seat. I've never cried so hard in my life. You know the kind where you run to the toilet in case you might puke. It was just heartbreaking.

A ROCK and ROLL TOUR! (what next?)

John spent the better first half of 2007 on tour with the Apples in Stereo. They just played on the Conan O'Bryan show and went all over the United States. They had an upcoming European tour. We had decided that when he got back from Europe in June, we would be ready to start our adoption process....AGAIN.
In May, we got a call from Laurie that a birthmom had chosen us and was originally due in June, but that they had moved her due date up to late May. Did we want this baby? We needed to let her know in a couple of hours. What a situation!!! Yes, we wanted to adopt, and soon, but John was scheduled to tour Europe for 3 weeks and wouldn't be back until June 5th. What if the mom delivered early? John wouldn't be here. Could he fly back from Europe short notice? What would the band do if he did? Etc. etc. etc. We went round and round. We didn't know what to do. It put John in an awful position. I was ready for a another baby....he was living his dream touring with the band! Laurie called to get our decision. We put her off for another few hours. She called back again. AHHHhh this was excruciating!! I could have a baby in my arms in a few weeks! Ultimately, we decided no. It was so Hard to say that. I was so disappointed, but I knew that John needed to do this. There would be other birthmoms and other babies. John went on to Europe with the band.

NURSING SCHOOL

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I decided to go to nursing school. I had been pursuing my passion for natural birth by assisting hombebirth midwives. At the time, I was working as a prenatal massage therapist and doula. I decided that I needed a more formal education and a degree, so that I could practice homebirth midwifery legally in the state of KY. So, that led me to nursing school. I was hoping that we would get a baby in June so that I would have the whole summer with the baby before I started school. Again, as each day got checked off the calendar, I was more and more anxious. What a long wait! We had now been chosen by 3 birthmoms and we still had yet to complete an adoption!!! What would I do if Laurie and Nelda called the week before school to tell me we had been chosen. I was somewhat of a nervous wreck.
However, I started school with no prospect of a baby. Once school started, I grew even more anxious about adopting. School was very intense. I couldn't miss clinic days, I couldn't miss tests, I had to study. What would I do if a baby came? Drop out? Keep going and not give the baby as much attention as I should? I waited and waited for a call. Finally, fall break. "This would be a great week. I could have a baby this week and then be able to finish out the semester and then sit out a semester. All the different scenarios played out in my mind. Either way you sliced it, it would be VERY HARD to adopt a baby and go to Nursing school.
For anyone who has ever waited for a baby like this, you are the only ones who can relate to how stressful it is. You don't know when the baby is coming. You could get days notice and then suddenly, you life is turned upside down. You don't know whether to schedule things, etc. The social workers tell you to just go on with your life as usual, but it is SO HARD and STRESSFUL. (Especially for those of us who are planners!!) At least when you are pregnant, you have about a month ball park range. When you adopt, you have no idea!!!!
And for those of you who havent' been in nursing school, it's insane. It isn't like I could just take a couple of weeks off with a baby and read some chapters and be fine. We learn skills, like starting an IV, you, know, IMPORTANT THINGS! You can't just miss class. Plus, we have 10 hours of clinical time in the hospital each week. There is no way to make that. Essentially, I'd just have to drop out if I got a baby. What was I thinking?!
Anyway, Christmas break came. There was relief that I had made it through the first semester, but disappointment that we weren't going to have a baby again this Christmas!!! The one year anniversary of D'Angelo's birth was VERY hard.
It's now 2008! 4 years after starting our adoption classes!!! I never would have imagined. Now I was gearing up for a second semester of school. No word on a baby.
Finally, spring break came. I couldn't take it anymore! Why had we been waiting since June for a baby? You begin to look at all pregnant women with hungry eyes. Could she be a birthmom? Does she want her baby? Violet was going to be 3!!! I couldn't believe we didn't have antoher baby by now. Where were all the pregnant women?! Why weren't we getting chosen? I finally thought, "OK, we want a baby, there are plenty of babies in the world. We just need to be matched up. We aren't finding each other."

Thank God for Google

So, on March 8th, I googled, "children waiting for adoption." I clicked the first link, www.adopting.com. I clicked on the first picture...the featured kids. It was a picture of a two boys from Haiti...ages 3 and 1 and a half. That was it, those were my boys! I scrolled through so many pictures. There are hundreds of kids waiting for adoption. But, I came back to the first picture I saw. I'll NEVER forget that picture. I don't know how you know, or what makes a certain pair of eyes jump out at you, but I just KNEW. Those were MY boys. I emailed the adoption agency. The facilitator, Stephanie, said they were available for adoption and gave me more information. She said their parents took them to the orphanage and stated that they didn't think the boys would survive their childhood unless they were adopted.
I spent the next 48 hours convincing John that these were our boys. I laid out all the pros. They'd be biological siblings. No "odd man out" in our family. They were older, no intense baby care! They were the perfect ages. Violet would be right in between them. We already had a girl. We could adopt two and then be done with the whole adoption thing forever! They said it would take about a year or more for the adoption process. I explained to John that this was perfect. I could finish my last year of nursing school. Etc. Etc. I showered him with reasons. Finally, we agreed. We wanted to adopt these brothers.
We went and met with our social workers and quickly got our international dossier ready. Actually, I got it ready in record time. We couldn't "claim" the boys until our paper work was finished. Meanwhile I kept checking the website. Their picture was still available. I was terrified someone else would take "MY BOYS!" John and I took out a home equity loan for a VERY LARGE amount of money!! Aack and ignored my nursing school studying to finish the mountains of paperwork. On April 4th, Stephanie emailed us that the boys were ours. Their names were Erickson Pierre and Lovekender Pierre. She emailed more pictures of them.
My first year of nursing school was over!!
Our final dossier was arrived in Haiti on May 19th. (Eight pounds of paperwork, literally). On May 23rd, Violet turned 3. The next day, the three of us headed to Haiti to meet Erickson and Lovekender!